USFL '86: Baltimore, or, Charm City Offensive

The Eagles successfully exiled the Stars to Baltimore and fended off USFL teams for three years through shady Rizzo-like political intimidation. This could only go so far if your owner has a gambling problem and a deteriorating financial base. Supplemental pick Reggie White took a $3 million bonus from Priscilla to stay in Memphis, Toney and Byars--two guys on their draft boards--weren't coming; less urgent--though still frustrating--was 7th round supplemental pick Charles Crawford choosing to stay close to home in Tulsa despite a lower base offer beyond an envelope containing $10,000 cash and the keys to a Subaru BRAT. 

Rozelle, to try to maintain a positive front, blocked a move to Arizona like he did with New Orleans to Jacksonville, while providing zero-interest-loans to recruit USFL talent, which in turn, prompted speculation and the Shadow Market. All this is to say, while Philly lured the Breakers' Ron Johnson, the Outlaws' Daryl Goodlow, and the Express' Troy West, they lost veteran Reggie Wilkes to New Jersey and running back Major Everett, promising defensive back Mark Kelso, and--most importantly--Mike Quick to Baltimore. The latter trio were signed by GM/President Carl Peterson in the Vet's parking lot. Sort of Cosmic Punishment after railroading the Stars out of town: both Kelso and Everett were plunked on the waiver wire, which would've been fine before '83, when this served as a humiliation ceremony; a discipline of labor, an expectation they'd take pay cuts to get back on the roster. 

But everyone knew we were in a New World, christ. The boys both walked. Even the Mummers recognized the poor decision, building a half pluck turkey, it's broken wings half stretched like the eagles' logo; mangled wings shaped like zigzags against the horizon. 

Quick's loss stung most: the team's breakout receiver in '84, Mike held out hoping for a better deal, not to depart. But with Johnson's arrival, and a cash bonus to the less skilled Kenny Jackson, the 3-year $1 million offer from Carl--along with $175,000 to sit out the fall--was too good. Philly threatened legal action; the Stars' new fan club, which included filmmaker Barry Sonnenfeld, ran a successful telethon on Public television to buyout the final years of his deal--peak donations coming Saturday nights during Are You Being Served?. It was one of a number of creatively destructive moves by the league's model franchise: trying to facelift without scorching the earth. Peterson traded Mike Lush, sold Jamieson's contract to the Lions, and packaged Kelso in a deal for Washington holdout Curtis Bledsoe. This isn't even including the signing of Clarence Collins, who Chera cut after the massive trade with Houston that included Rickey Sanders.

Eagles fans fled to Wawas to drown their despair.