USFL '86: Michigan, or, Champagne and Little Caesars in Motor City

No one really expected the Panthers to be as good as they had been in three years, and by '86 the "Cardiac Cats" had endeared themselves to Motor City. But the team's title run in '85--again ending with an Anthony Carter whirlwind grab--further faded memories of Eddie Murray's miss against San Fran in '83, Monte Clark doubled over like an Babylonian King in a Pre-Raphaelite painting. Yeah, Gibson and the Tigers demolished a mercenary Padres team in '84, and Isaiah Thomas was fast and mean in the winter, but those aren't Our Sacred Game, the one we all know so well, assemble our ancestral shrines for--springball, for all it's hyperkenetic, radiated plastic glow was still the Thing. 

Michigan's run is sprinkled through this total narrative, so, quickly: they opened with ten straight wins--a league record for a start--and finished 4-4 on the back end. Hebert would narrowly defeat Doug Williams for league MVP finishing with 5,191 yards, 46 touchdowns, and 13 picks; Anthony Carter and Daryl Turner would outdo the Dolphins' pair of Clayton and Duper, going 56-1,778-18 and 48-1,481-20 respectively. A writer for Cat-a-racts, a fan magazine out of East Lansing, put it simply: "they played one-note all year, but that note was the brown one. They made defenses shit themselves." Clunky and vulgar, but accurate.

Any anxiety in the playoffs shook off after 56-23 and 52-44 wins against San Antonio and LA to make the title game; a back-and-forth with New Jersey--really New York, the Heart of Finance, the mouth grinding Judas and Cassius--made for good TV. ABC actually delighted in the result as it provided the narrative structure for '86: can Walker and Flutie redeem themselves? 

The Panthers didn't do a whole lot, but they did sign local boys John Offerdahl and Brad Chochran, who spurned the Fish and the Raiders, respectively. Longtime Bengal Ross Browner provided a little solace for the loss of fan favorite Dave Tipton. Free agent Jackie Flowers--not known for speed, but a smart receiver who would hit his spots--seemed sensible, as did longtime Cowboy Ron Springs, there to back up Albert Bentley and, potentially, Linnie Patrick, who was emerging as a multi-tooled threat. 

Owner A. Alfred Taubman was apprehensive about the team's long term viability, but the Chrysler sponsorship, TV money, and the IWW's proposal to "socialize" ownership--its members already accounting for 30% of the season-ticket base--staved off exploring relocation. The bombing of the Ford Foundation offices also helped, providing a distraction; the Lions, initially hellbent on destroying their spring counterparts, had bigger issues now. 

Not unlike the Maulers, the gaudy champagne and wine jerseys, fast play, and hazy, stale air of the dome reminded fans of their lived experience--they couldn't even escape the feel of a factory floor. At least this team won titles.