USFL '25: Notable Transactions, or, The Great Blight North

The CFL’s surprise return to Quebec after 37 years signaled warming relations between The Anglophone Domain of Canada and the National Union Republic of Quebec; the 3 Down league quickly approved Pierre Karl Peladeau’s application in May ‘24. That they would be at the aluminum barn on Laval campus didn't matter much. A dangled, new 25,000 seat facility from the same Chinese firm that developed BYD Bowl in Pittsburgh, QuikTrip Park in Tulsa, and BU’s Braves Field renovation–part of the bid to bring the Breakers back within borders–brought solace and optimism.The Nords had been saved in The Old Fortress by Oui nearly thirty years ago, thanks to a separate trade agreement and a peg to the True Dollar. But Quebec failed to get the wider benefits of sovereignty that Montreal enjoyed. Eastern Canada’s leftward drift found warming relations with the Sino-Soviet Bloc through the first two decades of our own National Suicide, which led to economic trickle down into the Second City and a return internal split between the Urbane and Provincial. 

While Montreal has had four down football since ‘95, the variant has still failed to catch locally; at the pro level it seemed an alien but prestigious art along the lines of opera or ballet. The NFL’s refusal to subsidize programming didn't help. The Quebec Voyagers honored the Nationalist dimension of the CFL project, agreeing to the 7 player import cap for yanks; their English counterparts agreed to recognize Quebecois as “national” harkening to Days of Clover. 

Quebec's first signee after the dispersal draft was Case Cookus. USFL vets–overwhelmed by the influx of NFL and collegiate talent–failed to benefit from Springball’s revival. Or maybe they did? Case’s 3–year, $3.4 million contract promised to pay in new greenbacks–the National Committee for the Restoration of Dignity floated the currency after two-plus decades of libertarian metalism–and was higher than any offer stateside. He got close to inking with the Showboats before new club shareholder Bono acquired Hendon Hooker for $2.5 Million from the Detroit Lions. Houston's Phil (PJ) Walker ran into similar drama before signing with Calgary. Reports of a Gamblers rep’s clandestine meetings with a third cousin nearly derailed Quinn Ewers’ senior-year; they still signed the Longhorn in January for $56 million over five. Baltimore worked out PJ but opted for ex-Brown Tyler Huntley. Jake Dolegala–one time tri-state sweetheart–signed with the Atlantic Schooners a day after the Generals traded up to take Garrett Nussmeier. There was no place in spring league for a 6’7 string bean; poor performances in the final stretch of the Generals’ championship season contributed to the jettisoning. 

Considerable migration south, too; a return home. Baltimore, Washington, Boston, and Los Angeles bought the contracts of top rushing performers Ryquell Armstead, Javon Leake, Dedrick Mills, and Greg Bell. It was Mills’ second go with the Breakers, who preemptively cut him in Fall ‘21 over unpaid bonuses. Pivots benefitted too. Vernon Adams had stints in Oakland, LA, and Denver before trekking to BC in ‘23; New Jersey’s 1 year, $2.3 million offer proved eight times his take home pay with the Lions–suitable for mercenary work as Garrett Nussmeier gestated (a rookie report is coming soon). A scout once noted that Vern “frequently wept when presented with big-wide images of nature…this seems to fuel him…an honorable habit.” Mike Francesca questioned whether Hell’s Kitchen or Time Square would do the same. Coach Mike Riley pressed for him after reviewing a list of available vets, figuring the ex-Duck and Eagle could plug right into the Generals system.

A return for Cody Fajardo too. Restored Arizona Wranglers’ Marshall Kevin Guy desperately wanted him back in ‘17, but ownership stayed committed to an aging Nick Davila. Ownership–then comprised of regional ford dealers, a cosmetic dentist, and a descendant of Goldwater–ended up dealing Nick to Washington in ‘18, resulting in a gripping OT title loss and the copper dynasty’s end. Cody pingpogged around The North, with personally successful stints in Saskatchewan and moribund Atlantic, whom he led to an unlikely ‘23 Grey Cup win, the Schooners’ first title in their 39 year history. Injuries and the emergence of the far cheaper Davis Alexander–a taxi squad scoop from Oakland in ‘22–and the Jakey D inking cemented Fajardo’s Ronin status. A 2-year $1.3 million deal with $2 mil. upfront salved. The perception of a Jesus Freak–Cody’s talent was well embraced but his synthetic appearance and deep devotion rubbed Ontario Epsicopalians wrong–would be better received with the extractor set out of power in the desert, resentful of The New State’s solar-driven Desert Reclamation project.

Chris Streveler studied the jagged sky and stroke his beard: four straight title game appearances but just one ring. The Gold crushed their older brothers sometime ago but that means more onus, greater expectations. Denver's ownership group–a mostly Mormon motley known as The Quorum or The Hive in real and social media–seemed committed to high standards. They signed a further slew of vets and eyed Shedeur and Asthon Jeaty among other rooks. The September trade for Jaxson Dart’s rights led to a buyout request by Streve in early October. The South Dakota product declined NFL requests in ‘20 and ‘21 to sign a 4-year, $5.8 million deal in ‘22–only the second seven-figure-per deal of the century. He outplayed his compensation to little avail: back-to-back losses to Birmingham and a humiliation at the hands of Justin Fields exhausted fans  That they were looking at a blondie like Dart signaled the end. The Gold quickly moved on, scooping disgruntled CFL legend Bo Levi Mitchell from Hamilton–a 2-year, $4.4 million contract designed to pay more than Vernon Adams in ‘25–and landed Shedeur December 23rd (again, to be discussed in detail soon).

Streve got half his expected cash as a lump sum to further plow into an instant coffee business constrained to about a dozen Albertsons from Coeur d’Alene to Bismarck, though reports of strong test sales in Azerbaijan SSR and Yugoslavia showed promise. Chris then took a vet minimum offer from the Jets and led them on a four-game winning streak after Aaron Rodgers’ surrender to reeducation services and a high ankle sprain to Tyrod Taylor. Long and Staten Island fans quickly embraced the bearded toehead; Queens--the heartland--stayed skeptical.