USFL '86 Notes: Shadow Market

1985 USFL Season 

Final Standings

Eastern Conference

Atlantic

xy-New Jersey 10-7-1      

x-Baltimore 10-8

Pittsburgh 8-9-1

Washington 5-13

Southern

xy-Jacksonville 13-5

x-Birmingham 11-6-1

x-New Orleans 11-7

x-Tampa Bay 10-8

Memphis 7-11

Western Conference

Pacific

xy-Los Angeles 11-7

x-Arizona 9-9         

x-Oakland 8-9-1          

Denver 5-13            

Central

xy-Michigan 14-4

x-San Antonio 8-10

x-Houston 8-10

Chicago 7-11

Oklahoma 5-13

Playoffs:

Wild Card:

Arizona 38, Houston 23

Birmingham 28, New Orleans 24

San Antonio 42, Oakland 39

Baltimore 30, Tampa Bay 27 OT

Conference Semi-Finals:

Los Angeles 46, Arizona 16

New Jersey 23, Birmingham 17

Michigan 56, San Antonio 23

Baltimore 24, Jacksonville 14

Conference Championships:

Michigan 51, Los Angeles 42

New Jersey 38, Baltimore 27

USFL Championship (Pontiac Silverdome, Detroit, Michigan): Michigan 41, New Jersey 38

The Revolution will be Televised, or, Being There

Ratings improved as ABC experimented with expanded coverage--a sign that the public was taking the league and springball seriously in year 3. Lampley was still mostly the lone voice in the control room, but he would occasionally be joined by Roosevelt Nuske, a young-ish culture critic and postmodern novelist who gained mainstream success through a nationally syndicated "Sports and Culture" column in the Cleveland Plain-Dealer. Yuppies loved his work, though they were brutal enough critiques of American society that even the Andropov regime quickly translated them into German, Russian, Polish, and Romanian; his best known work was about a WWII-era comic book style hero/vigilante who comes out of retirement to hunt down a child murderer and discovers a sex ring. 

Nuske was a more vicious Plympton and a cooler DeFord, whose writings provided some romanticisms of his subject, but also attempted to explain seedier elements of professional sports by examining the "moneyed reasoning and arrayed power blocs" behind them. Birchers suspected he was a Red after General Secretary Morenov's praise of football sounded oddly similar to a passage in a Nuske essay comparing Jim Brown to Robert Johnson for Sport; it was Morenov who went further, arguing that football and jazz were the Empire's greatest--and only positive--contributions to the rest of the world. Both products reflected important aspects to carrying on a positive formation of human existence: the need to come together as individuals, with each using one's natural talents toward a collective goal, violent or nonviolent, often achieved through “appropriate improvisation of an established plan.” 

In addition to video essays and sort of “everyman” analysis--everyman in the sense that much of the USFL’s fanbase turned out to be bourgeois suburbanites--“Rosie” also functioned as ABC's Pete Axhelm or Jimmy the Greek, running odds and making picks. He was so bad at lines viewers often picked against him and made out pretty well, making him wildly popular. One of his few successful picks came in Week 11 of ‘85, taking Birmingham over then 10-0 Michigan; the Ponies won 47-38. When an irate middle-manager at Ford insinuated he could rig Nuske's Mitsubishi Starion to explode if he ever mentioned the Panthers again, Rosie replied, "you could just buy me a Pinto.”. The cleancut Lampley paired well with Rosie, whose jet black hair resembled a mound of throbbing black eels, pairing well with 5 o'clock shadow. 

The league got a third, if very small and novel, broadcast partner in Sportschannel, a cable network servicing New England and New York--their big coverage focused on Whalers and Islanders hockey as well as the New Jersey Nets. They agreed to pay the league $25 million over four years to air Saturday Night Spring Ball for cable subscribers in the region. The network already carried This is the USFL and produced a weekly highlight program out of a Hartford studio hosted by Keith Olberman, a tall, mustachioed drink of water sporting a fast and bellous voice and the complexion of a moth larva. 

SNSB’s Innovation came in running the feed of a locally broadcasted game--they sent no crew themselves, leaving Keith alone in a high-key lit, gray, red, and blue studio. In the case of a dud, Olberman would cut-in and "switch" them to another, better game as long as it wasn't aired by one of the USFL's bigger partners. As ESPN and ABC picked up the marquee market games, Denver, Michigan, San Antonio, Oklahoma, and Memphis featured prominently. It quickly became Sportschannel's highest rated program, just ahead of an MISL Game of the Week package they themselves licensed from the amorphous "Budweiser Sports." To recover costs beyond ad revenue, Sportschannel also further sub-licensed their package to other burgeoning "regional sports channels," as well as independent over-the-air stations. This was particularly notable in Tulsa. As the Outlaws played on Tulsa Cablevision, which had only 30,000 subscribers, most Outlaw fans watched a syndicated Springball broadcast via KGCT. Most of Olberman's death threats--there were a lot of them--came from Eastern Oklahoma/Western Arkansas.

***

We will chronicle Vasily Morenov's rise to General Secretary and Paramount Leader of the Soviet Union in our NFL '86 notes. His personal interest in our beloved game, and recent cultural and scientific exchanges, seem to indicate a thaw to the hopeful, but they all seem to fit better in our fallball discussion. He has expressed little interest in this pioneer operation--the Premier a reported Dolphins fanatic--but we do have one episode from the last year and half: the Tampa Bay-San Antonio exhibition match of February 23rd--Red Army Day--played on a narrow wet field in Sochi.

The Bandits and the Gunslingers--chosen because of their cowboy themes--sent third and fourth stringers to the Summer Capital after months of back-channel talks between the USFL and the Party. Grover Debs knew immediately this wasn't a Morenov idea, but that of aspirational, low-level cultural attaches and greenhorns trying to impress their new leader, but the Commish figured getting his clubs behind the Iron Curtain before Rozelle would generate positive press. 

Sochi was chosen due to its warm water beaches and general hospitable environment: a one-time resort town for party bureaucrats and intelligentsia now "reconstructed" as a worker's paradise for the proletariat who helped push Morenov into power--though, as an aside, that doesn’t seem to be particularly clear either: there were no televised marches; he just seemed to appear out of the ether, prepared to take them back up the mountain. Local honchos chose a small soccer and rugby stadium that could accommodate imperial dimensions. Old "H" goal rugby posts were sailed in from Georgia; shallow end zones necessitated placement on the goaline. 

Only five players total made final rosters: San Antonio rookies Larry Linne and Seth Joyner, Tampa rookies Joe Dudek, Percy Griffin, and veteran Putt Choate, a late signee out of shape. Putt and Joyner both had standout performances--5 sacks each, with Joyner picking Wayne Peace twice, effectively ending the journeyman's career. Dudek notched 188 yards and a touchdown. A kid from Mary Hardin-Baylor named Donovan--box score and rosters incomplete when sent to US media as it was a translation conducted by TASS--chugged for 248 yards in a tight 19-18 win for the Bandits. Mike Clendenen's three extra point attempts all clanged off the H bar--he later told West German football outlet Kicker-Sportsmagazin that the shape messed with his depth perception--but he attracted great attention from fans for kicking with his barefoot. Intelligence officials leaked to Rozelle that Morenov was not impressed--"where's the grace?" he reportedly asked key party ally Grigory Romanov, a man he himself ousted; anonymous sources indicated that the new General Secretary felt the USFL was like any other American enterprise, content with dumping cheap products in “inferior” markets. A few days after the game, Rozelle announced that the Dolphins and Cards would come to Moscow in July '87.

Shadow Market 

The '84 Bears made a surprise run to the NFC Title Game without Walter; Thomas Sanders and Dennis Gentry both ably stepped into the void, but the defense still struggled against Joe and the Niners; whether Wilber Marshall--their projected first rounder who signed with the Bandits ahead of the draft--and 2nd round Ron Rivera's decision to walk out and sign with Oakland (see our '85 notes--ed.) would have helped put pressure on Montana and Craig is up for debate, though The Sun-Times and The Tribune declined to say anything. 

Defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan's institution of The 46 (Four-Six) over the summer of '85 seemed to point to a new horizon despite further losses of talent: holdouts Todd Bell, Al Harris, and rookie William Perry. "Fridge" held out into August before signing a 4-year, $1.6 million deal with the Feds for '86, drawing ire from Buddy, who saw him as a wasted pick, and Birchers who felt the move was orchestrated by Rockefeller, The Trilateral Commission, and season ticket holding lizardmen at Langley. Bell's walk to Mr. Ortega's humble Wrigleyville bungalow in late August caused a mild stir, especially since he signed for $265,000, more than triple his '84 salary but roughly a third of his request. A gum-chomping Ditka replied "so what?" to Al Harris in October after he brought them a two-year, $900,000 offer from the Arizona Wranglers. By then, the Bears were 4-0. Bye Bye. By Harris' jump, ex-Breaker Marcus Marek had finally found the rhythm and speed to operate in Ryan's system--when Bell walked out, Chicago traded for Marek, who spent Fall '84 being fined by Paul Brown for his long-ish hair and benched by Sam Wyche for the returning Jim LeClair. 

Chicago won their first 9 games and finished a league-best 14-2, their only losses last-second choke jobs to Detroit and Atlanta in Weeks 10 and 12. A much hyped Monday Night soiree with Miami in Week 13 exceeded expectations, with Richard Dent nearly breaking Marino's throwing wrist in a strip. The ball tumbled into the end zone, with Tony Nathan falling on it, giving up the safety: 19-17. In the divisional round, Chicago would survive the Giants 30-24 in overtime--Tuna mourning the losses of Carl Banks and Lionel Emmanuel. They followed the win with an easy 35-24 roll over of Neil Lomax and the surprising St. Louis Cardinals, who took the NFC East with a 12-4 record.

After a devastating 34-24 loss to Miami in Super Bowl XX, the "thrift and grit" philosophy was seen as cheapness, a needless suppression of wages from the unionists who made up about 60% of the ticket base. Walter would've wiggled out of Kim Bokemper's oven mitts. Marshall, Rivera, or Bell would've stopped Dandy Dan's 4th-down plonker to island-in-a-green-sea Dave Rose to make it 14-10 in the 2nd, often cited as the "permanent momentum shift" of the game. Maybe Vince Evans--another Bears-to-Blitz jumper--would've hit a wide-open Emery Moorehead and not safety Lyle Blackwood with the game tied 24-24 early in the 4th. Much to consider. It got worse in the offseason.

They lost pro bowl lineman Mark Bortz to a clerical error; Ditka forgot to sign Mark's '86 contract, leading the secretary, a Halas scion named Philomena, to list him as a release for the NFL transaction list. No one in the organization would've known had The Tribune not called for comment, but it was too late. "The Corn Palace"--he was big, blond, and played at Iowa--was deeply hurt and received a 4-year, $900,000 offer to help protect Steve Young in LA. The same week, Buddy Ryan left for Philly. 

Alister Forum and Augustine Quaeuf (pronounced Qu-oh-f--ed.) of The National Review both penned separate articles calling for "economic discipline of an internalized sort" in the professional football market. While not the player raids of '84, both leagues still sniped, exploiting legal loopholes and pouring over waiver wires. The USFL was much more dynamic in this, as clubs piled up recognizable veterans through July and August in a slight shift of strategy: short and cash rich, the contracts often resembled Golden parachutes. That an over-the-hill Robert Brazile or Dirt Winston got low-six-figures to huff it in monsoon or burning conditions didn't mean much. Seeing talent like Mike Quick and the further siphoning of prospects--squeezing surplus labor--rattled the League. That two of the USFL's noisiest owners disappeared--fingers identified as ex-Express owner J. Walter Oldenburg's were found in San Pedro whirlpools during low-tide--ahead of TV deals in '84 seemed a deliberate signal to Rozelle and NFL owners that they were serious. Détente, official or unofficial, was a priority.

The barbarism of '84 was replaced by off-stage machinations: as will detailed, owners worked out transfers for players, unbeknownst and known. Often this came in the form of the completion of a sale of contract, the player being cut, clubs colluding not to sign, and the acquiring club presenting the player with a lone offer. Savvier players and their agents cut themselves in: all of the Chargers under-the-table acquisitions negotiated substantial bonuses. The naive were simply relieved they weren't back to digging ditches. 

In "The Misery of Abundance," published in September, Forum feared that the ongoing salary war would lead, to quote the dreaded Marx, "the common ruination of all." While he praised the "spirit of gentlemanly competition," Alister feared the eventual annihilation of the talented class, replaced by "Player Politburos" and action committees; Quaef echoed this concern in "What Is to Be Done?,” published a week later.  

Not much offered however, both essays rife with measured contemplation from a grand window over a meadow. Forum called on the NFL and USFL owners to find it in themselves to rationally navigate individual contract negotiations, to "ground (themselves)  in Eden and display honorable restraint.” Quaef actually suggested a merger at the executive ranks, the creation of a single entity to surveil both seasons in order to prevent hyperinflation while guaranteeing autonomy at the individual owner level--a sort of facsimile of democracy--but even this intriguing suggestion was clearly flawed: it would mean the owners and commissioners of both leagues were wholly rational actors will to cooperate.  

Rozelle and Debs would meet in November '85 and hash it out: the result would be "The List," published every August 1st and February 1st--the starts of preseasons. Both leagues would publicly release lists of players available--those under as well as out of contract--with proposed "transfer fees" for each player. Clubs then had 30 days to negotiate contract purchases and new deals. The current trends but now public, above board. Forum and Quaef loved the idea of another market to dictate human relations, but still complained, considering it limiting, uncouth and gouache: all discourse would pull away from aesthetic and spiritual appraisal towards the grimy chatter of compensation, demands, the material. Both unions signed off after players would receive 20% of the fee.

Debs rattled Rozelle when the spring league announced "intra-league" free agency days before Week 1 kick-off. A deal hammered out between the union and owners, players could now freely pursue offers within the league starting in '87 or request to be listed. Debs and allied subordinates--some of the owners too, specifically Jacksonville's Steve Bullard, Los Angeles' Yamada-sama, New Jersey's Stan Chera, and Pittsburgh's Ed DeBartalo--saw it a priority ahead of Mike Rozier's free agency at the end of the coming season. The high-profile signing had finally come into his own and was lusted after by the NFL and the Oilers, who held his rights. There'd be others too if extensions could not be hammered out: Kelly, Hersch, Dupree, etc. A critical time to give an inch. 

Rozelle's Old Boys weren't interested in similar reorganizing: they had dispersed the union, gave an inch in cash. Pete was a little worried in the long-run, but if owners were more willing to pay big fees, it may not disrupt too much. NFL clandestine operations would have to ramp up, become nimble. But money was still flowing from an expanding television landscape, so alls well for now. 

Quick Hits:

• Cleveland, Dallas, and San Diego were the big Shadow Market players, but the splashiest was certainly Spanos and his Sunshine Boys. The exact number buried in spreadsheets, the Chargers possibly spent over $3 million in "fees" to assemble an All-USFL team, acquiring Gary Anderson from Tampa, Trumane Johnson--who sat out '85--from Arizona, Gary Plummer from Oakland, and Mike Kelly and Tim Spencer from Memphis. Negotiations were tough with the Boats, as Priscilla was involved; her hard edge from years of dealing with the Colonel and Record Execs forced Spanos' hand--two years of Ed Luther, Bruce Mathison, and Mike Hermann didn't help. San Antonio stitched up Rick Neuheisel, San Diego's first choice, through '89. Kelly had a stellar '85 in a "Fire and Ice" combo with Walter Lewis, but questions surrounded him--one thing to split time in the League, another to do it with the "Useless," which NFL owners still called their rivals. The quartet lived up to expectations--especially Mike, who didn't show until the end of training camp. Sitting at 6-6 in a clogged division, the Chargers won their final four to take the AFC West; they'd drop the Pats in the Wild Card 42-21 and lose a tough divisional playoff to Cleveland in the cold, 28-26. Their best season since '82.

• Financial pressures prevented Bum Bright from pursuing Hersch; Stan Chera wanted $10 million minimum. As documented below, Dallas' heavy movement largely went the other way--Hogeboom and Jay Saldi, for instance, signing with Memphis and New Jersey. Bright cut deals without telling Gill Brandt or Landry, leading to the two placing bets on who would or wouldn't show up to training camp.

• The Cowboys started to resemble some of the murkier and confusing elements of Dallas: contract grifts, betrayals, board room back-stabbing, etc. Fun stuff to watch but not to go through. When Tom Landry was spotted inviting a Kapital reading group put together by UT "Living Marxists" at his grotto in Austin, he dismissed criticisms, noting only an intellectual curiosity, an attempt to find a "new way of honing grown men." Anonymous associates reported to The Herald and Fort Worth Telegram of Landry's habit to sit on his porch, bald head gleaming, and express--possibly only to himself--the deep concerns the New Era inflicted on the Soul of Man. "Maybe it is the goddamn money, the external, maybe that is what is done to us, moved over us" was one reported utterance.