USFL Fragments: '88, A Starr Is Born

 

Folks loved Pappy Katsios, but they also knew the Grifter-Dreamer's path to success was a needle-eye wide: the Monday after the Black Swan, creditors rolled into team offices at Legion Field and seized NeXT computers, desks, and team equipment; anything that had value that could be liquidated. Katsios had leveraged every part of the family fiefdom to develop a hot tub superior to Jacuzzi--market leader and a company that successfully bullied supply lines and vendors. Pappy believed in the Free Market Project, and he thought the Great American Middle Manager deserved to relax in style after a hard day in a faux marble trim Katsios 2525 PoweJet. R&D overruns and the disastrous purchase and conversion of an old John Deere plant on the city outskirts did him in; accusations that he helped smuggle weapons and old Magic City Toyota repair trucks to Chadian rebel groups fighting Qaddafi to bankroll his vision were unfounded. He wanted to be a King in his tub; he ended up being Marat.

Katsios' fall seemed plain Vision Quest stuff: the decision to buy back Gyro King franchises to build up assets as collateral to secure loans for Hot Tub development R and D seemed counterintuitive; the Jacuzzi empire's aggressive shut-out to financing, showroom floors, investors, and even workers contributed to his downfall. The crash wiped out his private portfolio and general liquidity. A morass. Strangely, his splashy signings in '85 actually seemed financially sound--much of the money tied up in long term payments, annuities, things reasonable. 

This all overshadowed a weird, fun bittersweet '87: the Ponies' path resembled a volatile Dow, but they managed a 9-9 record and an OT win at New Orleans in the Wild Card--the wildly popular Kevin Greene picked Alan Risher and took it back for the grace shot. They crashed like their Immortal Beloved in New Jersey, losing a tight one to the Generals, 29-23. 

Head coach Rollie Dotsch's cancer diagnosis led to his resignation July 30. August 1st departures of veterans and fan favorites Buddy Adyelette (Pittsburgh), Jack Cline, Joe Cribbs (both Miami), Freddie Joe Nunn (St. Louis), and Dennis Woodberry (Washington) via listing, suggested ragged edges. The listings did bring in fees totaling $4 million--Shula was desperate for a running back and pass rusher--but Pappy seemed to use the cash to play catchup on past due bills. He dragged his feet with President/GM Jerry Sklar on moves. Linnie Patrick was the club's lone fall signing. Bear Bryant's prodigal son was cut by Michigan after missing '87 with a knee injury; he barely cleared a physical, though a trip to Havana via tugboat from Mobile would likely solve that. 

November saw the city government seize the Stallions, only to transfer ownership to a cartel of genteel cotton traders and high society bluebloods. Among them members of the Lehman family, though from distant branches; rumors of liquidation persisted through November, ahead of the territorial draft. The club needed to trade hands, though the city was not particularly interested in running the team in a "socialist" arrangement like what happened to senior circuit Big Red in St. Louis in '86. The sacking of the Ponies more driven by jealousy and anger of Pappy's successful flouting of blue laws and his increased popularity with the tax base. 

The Cotton Cartel chomped at the bit to move Greene, Bennett, and Rice, but instead found high but not "excessive" cash deals that certainly looked market rate. Plus no one–intra- or interleague–wanted to take on the deferred payments without lower listing requests. A volatile, large power block of season ticket holders--small-holders who could vote--staved off total blood-letting. The Ponies had been second in attendance each of the last three years, recording 19 sellouts and never falling below 30,000 fans a game. Trimming would occur but had to be more calculated.

The league finally got involved. Commish Debs liked Katsios. His congenial nature and ability to yuck it up with Keith Jackson on broadcasts made him a national entity and drew the club and league positive attention. After meeting the Cartel, Debs shuffled his feet on approving the sale, finally setting a vote for January 5, long after the Open Draft. 

A combination of petty cash from the league slush fund and some covert hat passing among Katsios loyalists helped Sklar sign Aundray Bruce, Nate Hill, and Steve Bolton less than 24 hours after Auburn's 16-16 Sugar Bowl tie against Syracuse. The moves put the squeeze on The Cotton Cartel: Bruce alone helped sell another 5,000 season tickets. His 5 year, $3.75 million deal was really half that in cash. Not Bo, but closer than the moves in '86. Lazarus Lorenzo Pop-Pius--the Pool Supply King of Steel City and the lessee of one of the club's $750 luxury boxes--underwrote Hill's and Bolton's deals of $125,000 and $175,000 for '88; he also paid the contract fee for Lionel James from San Diego, and convinced Tide star and longtime Dolphin Tony Nathan to sign for $275,000--paid via a fundraiser and the salary cuts of his ungrateful sons. All four received internships at Madonna Aquatic Recreation Supply in order to prepare them for post-football life. By the time the new owners got the keys to Legion Field and team offices, much of '88 was set.

The Cartel did make a few moves: they fired Sklar and brought in Native Son Bart Starr as GM and Coach, albeit as training camp opened up. His track record in Green Bay overrode any enthusiasm. Starr failed to convince Ezra Johnson to jump--he would, ultimately, but to the Breakers--but Donny Humphrey, out of football for over a year, and old man Greg Koch did sign. Jeff Jackson was barely remembered from his Auburn days; Catholics in the fanbase, including Lorenzo, started novenas for Walter Lewis, as his offensive line would consist of Koch, second-year Howard Ballard, and rookies Zenfress Moss, Houston Hoover, and Garry Frank. Ron Shegog was a fun name to twist in the tongue, but he had spent the last two years moldering in CFL and NFL training camps. 

Katsios has seemed to survive total destitution by bundling the hot tub business, failed factory, and family gyro chain in a single deal with Mishima Industries, an Osaka conglomerate looking to diversify their largely Steel-based holdings. The Katsios 2525 Powerjet will hit the market as the Swanwhirl.