USFL Fragments: '93 Off-Season Transaction Notes; The Assassination of Art Modell; Patriots Down

 

Notable Free Agency signings included Bennie Goode to Birmingham (5-years, $3 million after incentives), Mark Seals and Keith Byars to Boston (2-years, terms not disclosed; 2-years, $2.4 million), Rod Bernstein and Duane Bickett to Denver (1-year, $560,000 with a second-year option; 1-year, $750,000, with 2-year $1.9 million option), Gary Clark to Arizona (terms not disclosed), Reggie Cobb and Mark Carrier to Tampa Bay (3-years, terms not disclosed; 2-years, $1.4 million), Kevin Greene and Jerry Ball to LA (5-years, $9.5 million; 3-years, $4.7 million), Eric Dickerson, Judd Garrett, Cornell Burbage, and Fallon Wacasey to San Antonio (1-year, $1.8 million; 2-years, $900,000; 2-years $675,000; 1-year, $250,000), and Johnny Johnson, Ronnie Lott, Sean Landetta, and Dave Meggett to New Jersey (2-years, $2.2 million; 2-years, $4 million; 5-years, $1.9 million; 3-years, terms not disclosed).

The biggest story of many of  the '92 off-season might've been LA's signing of super sophomore and Heisman Finalist Marshall Faulk. Express owner Don Simpson first had the idea in October, distracted during protracted negotiations with Mosfilm on a Tamerlane film starring Jack Nicholson. The Hollywood hotshot had only seen clips of the kid. His scouts reported favorably:two writing back that he was ready, a third feeling he would be there in two years and also that Nicholson seems better suited for a Tito biopic. The USFL has never feigned on signing underclassmen, but no club had ever pursued anyone just two years out. As San Diego State was within Express territory, Simpson could make an offer right away; he received tacit approval from the league office, with commissioner Grover Debs warning to tread lightly. 

Details suggested Don may have huffed Borax on accident: 6 years, $30 million ($18 mil. salary, $2 mil. bonus, the rest incentives), signed Monday after the Heisman ceremony. While a big flashy coup perfect for our Gomorrah, that Simpson and his front office did very little else did draw a little ire, especially for a club that came within 15-yards of a historic comeback and championship. Dickerson and Lott had left for free agency in October, Christian Okoye–banged up the last two years–retired hours after the title game. Garrett Gabriel, the near hero, had left for the Rams (see below). And while they had a good young core–Jeff Sydner played better than expected, Patrick Rowe lived up to the hype–trading Mike Pringle put a lot on the shoulders of a kid who would turn 20 at the end of camp. Plucking Michael Carter and Mike Sherrard off the transfer market brought little solace.  But this is the Land of Dreams, the Making of Other Realities. It'll work itself out, one guesses. 

For the fourth straight year, the spring league landed the Heisman Winner, with Gino Torretta inking with Tampa Bay in early January. The modest contract–3-years, $1 million with a $200,000 cash bonus–was initiated not by Burt, but by minority owners Dom DeLuise, Hal Needham, and Dean Martin's business manager. Gino signed after getting wrecked in the Sugar Bowl, being ignored by already disinterested NFL scouts, and failing to catch super agent Drew Rosenhaus at a good time. Burt wasn't particularly happy with the move; he instead dreamed of fellow Nole Charlie Ward and was more than willing to ride through a rough '93 with Steve Walsh–in a contract year and getting his shoulder looked at in Havana–Pats refugee Hugh Millen, or second-year Brad Johnson. When Gino pointed out to Smokey that he went 26-2 in Miami, Burt–through gum chomps–replied "who cares?" then pointed out "Walshy" won a national championship, was more accurate than Troy Aikman in college, and still blew two playoff games. Torretta tried to prove him wrong, launching for 300 yards, 3 TDs, and 3 picks in a preseason matchup with Mark Brunell and Jacksonville at Kim Il Sung stadium in Pyongyang. Brad Johnson's injury on the experimental turf–a light blue artificial grass made from vinyl and buckwheat–and Millen's refusal to "play in front of commies" ensured Torretta got the QB2 slot.

Though not stoking controversy like Faulk, LA's signing of Troy Kopp in November could prove to be system destabilizing. The University of the Pacific star had already threatened to quit the team twice before finally abandoning them in early November–with two games left–and signing a 2-year "futures" contract for about $90,000 a year. East German Deutsches Sportecho theorized the move as "proletarian liberation": Kopp battled homelessness through high school much like Outlaw QB David Klingler, and–recognizing his abilities within a free market–"threw off the shackles of indenture, which parade in American sports as a virginal, but vulgar, veil of amateurism." As Pacific was classified as an Open Draft school in '90, LA forfeited a 14th round pick in '93 based on Mel Kiper's ranking of the pivot. That Kopp was dismissed by NFL scouts probably would've resulted in a slide, but the move may have inspired Memphis' sniping of Willie Roaf (see below). Garrett Gabriel's jump to the Rams–uniting him with his dad and new head coach Roman–would thrust Troy into QB2 behind Young. Kopp threw darts in exhibition games in Tokyo and Osaka, but they often swerved, missing their targets. He finished with 5 picks in just two quarters of play in the Tokyo game. Head Coach Jack Pardee isn't concerned. 

A junior arbitrator upheld last year's ruling, allowing Arizona to acquire Boomer Esiason with no compensation to the Federals, his original contract "played out." The Wranglers closed the deal in the midst of training camp in February after months of back-door negotiations: angered over Mike Brown's attempt to void an ironclad, death-bed extension from daddy Paul, Esiason refused to report in September, leaving the club in the hands of Todd Hollas. After talks with the Jets, Brown instead took the dough from Arizona, which helped offset dad's extension. That Mike backed off saved face with the German Catholic base bothered with a son betraying his father's final wishes. The transfer fee was $3 million dollars–second-most in market history–with a 3-year deal worth $21 million in total compensation. Long-time Wranglers owner Dr. Ted Diethrich cited a need to "overhaul" the club amidst rumors of possible NFL expansion and revival of the Firebirds franchise; two potential investors for the fall ball club–Leo Leonidas, the "Cactus Taco King of Tuscon" and Octavio Gonzalo, a purported relative of The Shining Path leader and a successful lithium broker for the recently established Unified Republic of Bolivar (formerly Bolivia, Venezuela, Guyana, and Columbia)--decided to throw their weight behind the Wranglers, citing the Boomer deal as the reason. Gonzalo would help secure free agent Gary Clark and sign Ickey Woods, recovering from the Guevara procedure in Havana and hoping for a comeback. Rumors that Ickey also got a robotic hip were unfounded. Woods' reunion with Boomer was largely silent.

Jacksonville's selection and signing of Washington quarterback Mark Brunell–5 years, $3.5 million ($2.75 million salary, $75,000 cash bonus)--puzzled insiders, the media class, and ex-Gator Shane Matthews, who had signed the previous day. The small-holding junta team owner Steve Bullard had relied on through the franchise's history had started to organize and coordinate after "the reckless" acquisitions of Jerome Brown and Bobby Humphrey ahead of '92–they also gained added control, picking up an extra 5% stake in exchange for approving the pair of Pro Bowl holdouts. Esoteric in it's construction, the "League of the Oath" began to make their own moves in opposition to Steve and Team Prez Larry Csonka.

"Eye of the Smallhand" and elected-leader Gribaldi Lorenzo Oliver Agincourt Jefferson Davis–"Ollie Jeff"--engineered the Brunell inking, telling Sunshine Network at the presser that he and the "true blood and soil" of the club felt that the Bulls needed to "truly reflect the region's Anglo-Judeo-Christian composition and nature with a traditional quarterback," also adding "we want a white quarterback and more white players" just in case the reporter failed to understand. Ollie Jeff's family fortune was fairly recent, built on introducing Olde English into the South Georgia/Northern Florida region and Plantation Station–"Plant your rear here"--a chain of rent-to-own furniture, TV, and appliance stores. Ollie's comments–which he emphasized were not only his but of many aggrieved folks, he was "a mere ivory and gold vessel"--deeply alienated longtime members of the team and Free Agents: Gary Clark had left for Arizona already but expressed that the "vibe" of the some 100-member clique had bothered him the last couple years; Tracy Ham, Pat Swilling, and Terry Williams–a one-time Jet and top NFL prospect who went under the Socialist medicine knife in Stalingrad before having a miracle '92 at corner–staged hold-outs through training camp to force trades (Baltimore, Michigan, and New Jersey). Head coach Chan Gailey was nearly fired after vague criticisms of "ownership intervention." Gailey's pop-off came after a particularly frustrating day in training camp. Kerwin Bell–finally deposed by dime-store Marino and big boy Scott Mitchell in Miami–suddenly showed in training camp having inked a two-year deal. Slated starter Clemente Gordon took an offer to return to baseball rather than deal with a particularly nosey Oather who owned three non-participating McDonald's in the metro area and stalked the pivot everywhere he went. The Yakult Swallows of Japan's NPB offered Gordon $500,000 plus taxes paid and a Nissan R32 Skyline. Georgia Tech star Coleman Rudolph–who signed a 5-year, $2.75 million deal rather than wait for the draft–struggled with defensive schemes despite being of the more appropriate genome-type.

Mark played well enough in the Pyongyang game that Gailey gave him the reins. He unfortunately had no one to throw to beyond Shannon Sharpe. Few talented players wanted to sign with a Reaganite club. A desperate Bullard would secure both Marks brothers on the transfer market days before Week 1; Clayton and Duper signed 1-year, $400,000 deals. Clayton cited the '88 Bulls champion team–its receiving core a motley-crew that featured Nat Moore and Wes Chandler–as a reason to jump to spring after a sisyphean decade under Don Shula. Clayton's and Duper's press conference was "simulcasted": the former introduced to the press at one of those non-participating McDonalds, the latter at Ollie Jeff's largest Plantation Station location. Duper sported a hastily made, gawdy "dark teal" jersey with gold trim and black numbering–the jersey designed by the 4th-husband of Phoebe Rebcaa Latimer Felton, the only female Oather. A cash grab of sorts, the son of Yugo dealership owner Toutant Alfredo Hapsburg-Deitrich claimed that computer modeling and the success of the San Jose Sharks and Charlotte Hornets meant that "teal was hot" and could generate a further $5 million in annual revenue. The team planned to sport the jersey for three home games. 

Their signings led Chan to tear up the playbook and use Leo Cahill's 3 wideout approach, incorporating the Dolphin duo with Ray Alexander. It all felt shoddy. Memphis' stability, Bo's arrival in Birmingham (see below), and Tampa's youth movement led astute fans to consider that maybe the sun was setting. The only upside were the cache of picks the Bulls got in the holdouts. Jacksonville would have four 1st round Open Draft picks in '94 and territorial selections from Michigan, New Jersey, and Baltimore; while the latter two were not known to be college hotbeds, the Generals still have Ohio State and Syracuse.

***

Much like the Favre affair of '91, Memphis again flouted the rules and signed top prospect Willie Roaf without claim (7-years, $12 million w/incentives). Louisiana Tech was declared an Open School after the Breakers' return to Boston, and the USFL Central Committee made two rulings: the 'Boats would forfeit their top pick in '94 to the worst team in '93 (intraleague) and Prisicilla Presley would submit a list of Boats players to the NFL who could be signed without a transfer fee. The highest profile names were Ivory Lee Brown, a hero of the '91 run (Dallas) and Chad Rolen, the mayonnaise between Jeff Cross and Reggie White's Cincinnati rye. Reggie Cobb would leave the champs too for free agency, but Chuck Webb's recovery with the help of Soviet medicine–he started to look like Tony Dorsett, the man most often compared to him in college–provided solace and kept fan optimism for another run. 

***

Bo's arrival to Birmingham made news in November but then sort of got lost by late December. The Cotton Cartel–the group of commodity traders and blue-bloods who seized the club in '87–sold the Ponies in July to a Japanese conglomerate looking to park cash out of the hands of the Japanese Communist Party, who were in a coalition government with the Democratic Party of Japan and whom defeated the longstanding Liberal Democrats, the country's ruling party since the end of World War II. 

They re-installed fan favorite Pappy Katsios, the Stallions previous owner, as club President. Though he held no actual stake, he was given a blank checkbook. All funny money anyway, right?

Bo called him as Pappy liked to repeat in media interviews and at the press conference. After five dominant seasons in San Fran–including three Super Bowl appearances and a dramatic game-winning catch against the Raiders in Super Bowl XXV–Bo left the Niners and The League to focus on baseball. The Afrikaans owners who bought the Crimson and Gold after the NFL seized it from Ed DeBartalo Jr., kept low-balling Jackson and refused to trade him. Jackson signed a 3-year, $3.5 million deal with the Royals. He ran up a wall to steal a home run from Ken Griffey Jr., hit .410 in '91, and nearly tied Roger Maris' home run record in '92, KC never could get out of the pack for division races.

Frustrated by stalled talks and rumors of collusion, Bo called Katsios and the Ponies with demands. Birmingham immediately conceded: 2-years, $7.5 million (really $6 million, $1.5 back-end incentives). A tall order for a small club but nevertheless. Head coach Bart Starr wasn't sure what to do with him, but he now had a possible triple option hydra with Bo, Brad Baxter, and quarterback Reggie Slack. Siran Stacy–the second year slasher who surprised the league in '92–relegated to the bench. Made up for losing Kevin Greene to free agency. 

***

After months of hemming and hawing, "The Bus'' would sign a 6-year, $19 million deal with the Cats, sighting "shiftiness" from the NFL on draft position and revelations of a "background investigation on connections to the Black Panthers and Communist Party USA" by Lions' "Special Personnel Attache'' Adolf Galaraga, a former member of Ford's Personnel Relations Taskforce in Argentina, Chile, and Uruguay before transferring to the Lions 1988. Adolf had been credited with securing Neil Smith in '88, Barry Sanders and Bobby Hebert in '89, and Eric Wilkerson in the summer of '92; authorities have failed to connect his maiming by a machete wielding former GM line worker at March's LionsFest '93 in Auburn Hills to communist infiltration. The attacker cited the acquisition of Rodney Peete from Arizona in February, feeling that "the kid wasn't very good."

Birchers howled on Prodigy Network Message Boards that Michigan was obviously a Commie Front, one infiltration of an array. The Bettis signing, Krieg acquisition, and Desmond Howard's arrival  the previous season all seemed puzzling when compared to the Panthers' frugalness from '88-'91. Fall '92/early '93 also saw the "capture" of long-time Bengal Rodney Holman, Incredible Bulk turned Bust Tony Mandarich–so reviled Green Bay took a $200k buyout on cut-day–and hired-gun Tim McKyer. AMC–the club's owner–had seen business turnaround after a partnership with Soviet giant AutoVaz and inked-deals to take over Yugo production and to import some of Nissan's subcompacts. Still a little guy compared to The Big 3, AMC's innovations in electrification and they're cornering of a very powerful niche market–the first cars for Generation X ne'er-do-wells bought by their boomer and older parents–left them flush with cash; combine this with the worker led revolt in '87 that botched a takeover bid with Chrysler and established AMC as centrally democratic fueled speculation of commie interference. In his newsletter, Bircher Captain Fran Tarkenton floated that Bettis was likely being paid in counterfeit currency as part of the wider "Operation Echelon's Song" conspiracy, a Soviet plot to infiltrate Western European and undermine dollar hegemony, thus "caving in America." Tarkenton claimed the still-standing Soviets print "TRILLONS upon TRILLIONS" of US dollars in the Azerbaijan and Kyrgyzstan SSRs and then flood them into the free-world. "they LOOK BETTER than our own, God-divined dollars." We'll see.

***

Stan Chera denied reports in an August 10th, 1992 story by The Post that he and Ivana Trump offered the Generals to Yankees owner George Steinbrenner for $75 million. The Generals' aggressive approach to free agency and the transfer market–Dave Meggett, Sean Landeta, Johnny Johnson, Ronnie Lott, and Jets hold-out Ken O'Brein–was viewed by the Post and the Times as "overcompensation." In October, Chera would assert the revival of a domed stadium on the West Side of Manhattan, now dubbed Trump-Cuomo Memorial Dome, honoring "the memories of two great New Yorkers" (Mario and his sons were assassinated by Costra Nostra during a trip to Italy over the summer, see below). Chera gave up on the project in '85 after cash dried up. Possible funding sources include the Soviet-led International Friendship Development Fund and Jeffery Epstein, investment guru to billionaires, though that small cadre got smaller when he was found in pieces strewn across the Black Forest after a trip to West Germany in May '92. Steinbrenner also rebuffed the rumors, claiming "why would I buy into a chicken-shit team in a chicken-shit league?" He was reportedly furious about the Generals "syphoning" potential ticket sales from the Bronx Bombers. All this was moot by early December, when he assumed control of his hometown Cleveland Browns, two weeks after the assassination of Art Modell (see below). Chera and Ivana prepped for another humid spring in the Meadowlands.

***

Damon Allen agreed to terms on a transfer to the Seattle Seahawks. Atlanta, Kansas City, the Rams, and Raiders all also made inquiries, but none of them were visited by Allen in their dreams, the QB rolling into the Kingdome on thick wheels; silver, blue, and green wings emerging from his back, Al Davis' severed head in his right hand, his left: Davis' pouty son. Owner Ken Behring's wife divulged these visions to her analyst, who covertly passed them to him. Noting recent history–and the club's missed opportunity at Moon in '84–the "Sea Chickens" coughed up Oakland's $2.75 million demand at the start of training camp. Flores rolled with it. A second vision–Brother Marcus booking it like Mercury, fire so bright it burns down the Kingdome, leaving ashes and a clean lot to build on–was not far behind.

The Seahawks also picked-off Willie Bouyer from Michigan, Elroy Harris and Tim Broady from Pittsburgh, and Ferrell Edmunds from Baltimore. "Oh look, we assembled an '89 All-USFL team" chirped KCAL's Bob "Bulldog" Brisco, Seattle's leading sports talk radio host.

After receiving a record number of renewal declines–the San Francisco Examiner reported 13,000–Oakland responded with a flurry of market acquisitions and free agent signings, the most notable being ex-Charger Gill Byrd, Chiefs legend Stephone Paige, linebacker Dave Wyman, and quarterback Rich Gannon (details below). The money made on the Allen deal wiped out; this was followed by Heisman finalist Glyn Myllburn and fellow Stanfordite John Lynch. The Invaders recovered 8,000 fans and seemed set to lose $4 million, but it might've helped in the long run: Stanford alum from San Jose and other petit bourgeois pushed back at Oakland officials on possible tax breaks to Al Davis in negotiations for the return of the Raiders; an assassination attempt on a city council member led to a breakdown in talks, forcing Davis to re-up at the Coliseum through '95. The would-be assassin claimed that Invaders majority owner Lou Wrecker–the utopian "Waterbed King of Sacramento" turned utopia Georgist now controlling large swaths of Central Valley farmland–had ties to the Islamic Republic of Iran and had been undermining local pistachio growers by illegally acquiring and importing Persian nuts. The shooter hoped to help Al. 

**”

Despite recent efforts, the Open Draft still felt like a supplemental or "small school" draft, most of the 22 rounds resembling a crane game or throwing darts at a board blindfolded. November's territorial draft still generated the most media buzz. Arizona took Harlon Hill Trophy winner Ronald Moore first overall and had already signed him to for 4-year, $3.7 million the same day Pittsburg State lost the Division II championship. He's the third straight honoree to join the league after Johnny Bailey (his future teammate in 'Zona) and former Gorilla comrade Ronnie West (Oklahoma). Washington quarterbacks Billy Joe Hobert and Mark Brunell were both selected in the 1st round; for the first time in quite a while, the top two QB prospects–Drew Beldsoe and Rick Mirer–both committed to wait for the NFL draft, now moved to March. Denver made no attempt to sign the Cougar–who had expressed genuine interest in playing in Buffalo–while Mirer walked out of Blitz negotiations over bonus money. Both's loyalty would be repaid by falling to the 2nd round. 

***

Outside of the selection and signing of Brunell (see above), the other weird item was the Maulers' acquisition of the rights to both Tommy Maddox–whose rookie season with the Broncos was so rough ex-Generals backup Scott Erney started ten games, going 4-6–and of Mirer. The Maulers would give up territorial selections to the Express and Blitz in '93 and '94 respectively. Pittsburgh also left Panther Alex Van Pelt off their list; San Antonio would take him in the 2nd round. Despite a call from Landry himself, Alex waited for the League, who rewarded his loyalty with a 12th round selection by Buffalo. 

That the Purple and Orange made the move with Dan Marino and Major Harris–secret weapon of the '90 title run–surprised local media; astute Trotskyists on The Source, Birchers on CompuServe, and Sedevacanists on Prodigy all noted the moves as "4-dimensional chess": getting their ducks in a row for the latter-half of a harrowing decade. No one could explain the selection and signing of Allegheny College speedster Stan Drayton–"The Bottle Rocket"--in the 20th round, however.

***

Mirer and Van Pelt out, Chicago and Michigan would take the more historically successful route of sniping the Tarkentonian middle and later ranks of Mel Kiper's prospect lists. Indiana's Trent Green landed in Chicago via the territorial draft and the rollout king of '91 signed a modest offer sheet. Jeff Loots–a small college gunner who put up weird numbers–inked with Michigan after a 3rd round selection; the Panthers also signed a wispy but tall hurler named Erik White. Loots looked set for QB2 when, in early February, an exasperated Dave Krieg entered the transfer market after fighting all fall with Kansas City President Carl Peterson; DK signed with KC in March '92 and immediately emerged as the starter, but a short-changing by Peterson on a bonus check in December and a hand injury left MartyBall in the hands of Matt Blundin, who struggled in a Wild Card loss to San Diego. As with Mike Perez the year before, Peterson would essentially post his starting quarterback and demand a ransom. The Cats bit, signing him in February after coughing up $375,000. This relegated Jeff to 3rd string and Erik to 4th; Oklahoma–struggling to find an appropriate backup for Klingler after Todd Hammel took Poppy's call–would trade 2nd and 7th round selections in '94 and rookie linebacker Hassan Bailey, all based on a 77 yard, 1 TD preseason performance by Loots against a West German All-Star team in Hamburg. The Panthers would keep White, who threw for 245 and 5 picks against an East German All-Star team in Dresden, part of a split squad practice to get both pivots playing time. Foggie's leg injury in a West Berlin exhibition against Chicago plunked Krieg into QB1. (A last second note: you maybe wondering about Elvis Grbac; dear reader, the three-tie hero declined two paid workouts with the Panthers and signed a commitment sheet with the NFL after Mel Kiper suggested he'd go in round 2 or 3; we don't know his fate–ed.).

**”

Playing in the shadow of an improbable Super Bowl championship for the Oilers–won with a cadre of Gambler players surrounding Warren Moon–Houston looked fun again, jumping out to a 5-0 start before a stunning collapse. They would lose 10 of 12 to finish 7-11. Week 18 proved most humiliating: despite a 21-3 lead mid-2nd, they'd fall to San Antonio 41-38 in overtime; Aggie Kevin Murray's 95-yard drive to equalize in the final frame became known as "The Drive" to fans of both clubs. June Jones got the ax less than 24 hours later (9-14, no playoffs). George Bush Jr. disappeared into a mountain of snow, reportedly derailing the GOP's aspirations of running him for Governor. Rumors swirled around a possible relocation to Shreveport, Louisiana. The Gamblers would hole through early fall, with no one answering calls from season ticket holders, no rep at October's "Congress of Owners," and nary a transaction line or press release. Roman Anderson–the ex-Cougar kicker–was the first signed, inking October 28th. The process was strange. Anderson was asked to tape himself on Beta and send it to an address in Sugar Hill with instructions to check daily for a faxed response at the offices of energy concern Enron in downtown Houston. The kicker went daily for two weeks before receiving a 2-year contract worth $250,000, making him the third highest paid kicker in the league, after John Lee ($1.2 million) and Chris Jacke ($325,000). 

Worries of assassination attempts led Poppy to retreat first to the Berkshires and then to Houston, finding a clique willing to protect him and his family. It was there he delved deeply into the crass commercial interest of his wayward and most beloved son. An ominous black helicopter visited Bum Phillips ranch, George Herbert Walker departing to appeal to the ex-Oiler architect; Phillips–quite moved–demurred after adjusting his oak-cookie-sized brass belt buckle before recommending his own son Wade, recently displaced by the Saints for Jim Mora. The Younger Phillips quickly accepted, promising a "meaner" team to the Chronicle and local AM stations. Wade's late arrival prevented an offensive overhaul, but he was a defense guy anyway.

Saudi Arabia's further fragmentation under pressure from Iraq–who successfully annexed Kuwait in late '91–and internal factional conflicts proved advantageous for the Gamblers, with Poppy parking more money into the club. A second deluge came in training camp. Poppy flipped the Klingler picks into NFL veterans Rickey Dixon and Kelvin Martin and outbid the local Blues for Wilber Marshall and the Dirty Birds for Pierce Holt. Rookie Travis Hill–a top pick in January's draft via the Klingler trade–signed rather than wait for the NFL, who questioned his "over-mobility" and size. Bush's presence brought an Air of Seriousness and Commitment, stabilizing the ticket-holding base and securing a new lease. The country's election of a Television Populist immediately coaxed nostalgia from The National Review set. Perot–who cut into him deeply and narrowly captured Texas–mocked the proceedings, suggesting that he might just go ahead and buy San Antonio to whip him again. “Let him bloviate,” thought George. Ware looked very good in preseason games in Mexico City and Santo Domingo, changed last second from Havana over concerns from Fidel. Luck would likely return as we approached the 30th anniversary of the Kennedy Assassination. 

***

Dick Coury–Mr. Breaker–announced his retirement from coaching at the end of '92, taking a front office position with the club; offensive coordinator Jim Fassell was named his replacement  in September. Coury leaves after nearly a decade at the helm, the only remaining coach from the USFL's inaugural season. He led the Breakers to a league title in their first year in New Orleans ('84) and kept the team going through ownership troubles and a fallout with the local Archdiocese, who threw their support behind the Saints after '86; the Dillboys kept Coury and his staff after purchasing and returning the team to Boston, where they won the Atlantic division in '91 and reached the Eastern Conference Final, only to suffer a humiliating defeat to Memphis. The '92 season–despite expectations–was considered a disaster. Fassell served as offensive coordinator during the '84 championship season before coaching at the University of Utah from 1985-1989; he was the Denver Gold's target in '89, but the two sides could not come to terms, leading to the hire of Babe Perenilli. Fassell returned to Coury's staff in '91 after a brief stint teaching offensive strategies at State Order of Lenin Institute of Physical Education (SCLOPIE) as part of an international cultural exchange program–the same institute Generals head coach Bill Belichick briefly taught defensive strategies. Coury finishes with a record of 85-94-1, the all-time winningest and losingest coach in league history.

There was some worry that the Breakers would reign in spending for Year 3, but the usually austere Dillboy The Elder made some surprising moves, scooping Colt Bill Brooks and Bronco Michael Brooks from the transfer market. New Jersey also pursued Brooks–they took him in the '86 territorial draft but failed to sign him–but the league's Central Committee threw it to the Arbitrator, who gave the Generals Boston's 2nd round pick in '94. Tired of shuffling around Rod Rust's bizarre offensive schemes, Keith Byars entered free agency hoping to make seven figures; the Breakers inked him for 2-years, $2.4 million. The Patriots' collapse in November/December brought John Stephens and Andre Tippett. Dillboy The Elder always found team sports a detriment to intellect and higher-ordered pursuits, but he also deeply loved things and collecting, so what fun this all was, assembling an army for oneself that also didn't cause permanent property damage. Rather than watch games, he sat secluded in his estate on the New Hampshire seacoast staring at ship models–built by others, never himself–and admiring the skeleton of the Wampanoag King Philip, acquired by a distant relative who also hired the right men to track the leader down during that brief war. 

***

After talks broke down with Buccaneers QB coach Turk Schonert, the Tampa Bay Bandits hired Bengals legend and former Florida A&M field general Ken Riley; the move replaces Howard Schellenberger (35-36-1, 0-2 playoffs) who returned to the University of Louisville. Riley becomes the league's third African-American coach after Arizona's Charlie Joiner and Michigan's Johnnie Walton and the fifth in all of professional football. Turk would land in the USFL after a purge of Jim Stanley's staff in January '93, joining the Oakland Invaders in a lateral move.

***

Tom Landry confirmed he will coach San Antonio in '93 after stepping in ahead of Week 13 of the '92 season (4-2, 0-1 playoffs). The Directory–the nearly "invisible army" of prominent families in the city who owned the Gunslingers–installed the legendary coach at the end of the '91 season as Team President, giving him full authority amidst SchottGate. He initially hired Craig Morton, but a 4-8 start and fan and ownership pressure led him to fire his former backup QB and pull a Cincinnatus. Tom's return saw a late-season turn around, including a dramatic week 18 OT win over Houston to clinch a playoff berth. Landry's "flex" defense and a reigning in of play-calling–Craig often let Kevin Murray call his shots–saw greater discipline and organization. 

A head injury to Kevin Murray in the Gunslingers' 45-31 Wild Card lost generated serious enough concern that the Aggie great took a Concorde to Stalingrad, home to a number of neurological experts (the city renamed in 1989 as part of a powerbrokering with the few old hardliners and Red Army Generals left from Reconstruction–ed.). Babe Laufenberg–who stepped in and tried to give his best Frank Reich-Maryland-’84 impersonation to no avail–retired to take a color position at British Channel 4's USFL coverage, leaving the Fedora with weak options. Jerry Jones–furious that Tom was in San Antonio, a key Cowboys secondary market and now home to a more-beloved team with a new stadium–would outbid for Jason Garrett, a promising backup who spent part of '91 on San Antone's taxi squad before a solid fall in Canada. Jimmy Johnson was puzzled by Garrett's 6-year, $4.5 million deal. Van Pelt's rebuff really stung. Danny White was now offensive coordinator in Arizona and had no interest in returning. Golf buddy Bush Sr. rejected trade offers for rookie Glen Dillwig and Todd Hollas' rights after Mike Brown agreed to a transfer. Todd Hammel chose Houston. That left Bucky Richardson.

Tom took Bucky in the territorial draft out of obligation to the disproportionate number of A&M alum that had formed the Directory since '86. He never bothered to bring him to camp. So when the bruiser showed up ahead of the Week 18 Battle of Texas with a still ink-wet contract, the General shuffled him to the sideline. A recently flush-with-cash Directory member–the only AMC/AutoVaz authorized dealer in the Republic of Texas–signed Bucky to a 4-year, $675,000 deal with a $1 million bonus the previous week. A strong performance in February against Oklahoma–the game played in Munich and tied into a larger "Indianier" festival–led the old man to grit his teeth and slot the kid behind Murray. Such is life. 

***

Reminiscent of the 1976 Baltimore season, Ted Marchibroda was briefly fired by the Stars before being rehired despite a disastrous '92 that included a 1-10 start, the worst in league history. The decision to bring him back came after an inability to find a new head coach and promising 5-2 finish to the year. New Stars investor Jim Speros helped sign Tarheel bruiser Natrone Means in a shock move and had the wherewithal to trade for Tracy Ham during training camp. 

***

Washington's remarkable run in '92–14-4 (club record for wins), their first Atlantic Division title, their first playoff win since '84, and their first trip to the Eastern Final–greatly helped the league. While they dominated every media market outside of the Top 10 and Detroit, USFL ratings remained flat in Chicago, LA, New York, and the nation's capital. An also-ran for a decade, Joe Bugel's "Rainbow Coalition" offense–an initially derisive nickname now fully embraced (see our '92 notes)--helped generate genuine excitement in the Swamp and possibly held off an MLB expansion plan; the club drew 4 sellouts and pushed their season ticket base to 36,700 for '93. A team called the Federals were now undeniably cool, and the Skins' stumble in Fall '92 after a Super Bowl appearance created a fun narrative/tension within the city. The Friday night black third jersey, Shawn and Herman Moore, and comeback kid Rambo Brantley on defense reflected the shaky but cash-rich coalition of white liberal NOVA, Charlottesville, and the progrssive-ish talented tenth of Southeast DC. 

Joe Bugel–one-time heir apparent to Gibbs–resembled Napoleon after the 9 game turnaround from '91. DC-based BET's broadcast of six games gave the moribund franchise a new national exposure to the wider black community and suburban white teenagers sneaking EasyE. The team's still largely amorphous, anonymous ownership also gave them a sort of "Team of the People" vibe, the New Deal resurrected aesthetically. A clear demarcation between seasons. The Red and Gold, with their epithet nickname, Weimar Burlesque lumpen base still in drag and pig snouts, blaring Old South Sousa Band, and Young Republican-vibed front office only exacerbated the long-time image of reaction; a hold over from Reagan–loser of the Cold War given it was still lumbering on–even though the Gipper was seen more at Fed games and waxed philosophically of his "Little Green Men." No one wanted to tell him that George Allen was dead and no longer at the helm. See, all fun.

The Feds mostly worked around the edges like good technocratic liberals do. No big acquisitions. Veteran Johnny Rembert didn't impress The Post's  Tony Kornheiser. The high drama came in February: first, Shawn Moore revealed that his "iron fist" procedure seemed to go awry. After throwing back-to-back picks against Houston in the London exhibition, he blamed his struggles on a still broken hand from a Reggie White pancaking early in the 41-24 Eastern Final loss. Wires from the exoskeleton "frame" integrated into his thumb poked out through the skin and pierced back through every time he gripped the ball, making his hand "feel like fire." A rare miss by Soviet medicine, which was winning the Science War with the West and the hearts and minds of American sports fans, who saw their heroes recover quicker and play better thanks to innovations shielded from the Free Market. Bugel handed the reins for '93 to the promising Jeff Blake, who would torch the Gamblers for 233-4-1 and run for 102 and a touchdown. Kornheiser would call him "Shake and Blake" in his column the following week.

***

Seattle's disappointing '92 helped the Feds land Chris Warren; "Dirty" Damon's arrival to the NFL was mixed, as Allen played extremely well but often alone, the club hovering around .500 in an ugly AFC West all year. Tom Flores' "split time" for the young Warren and ex-Mauler Elroy Harris–possibly the biggest bust of the Sea Chickens' USFL haul–just led to lumbering indecision. They sat at 8-7 with an outside chance at the AFC West, but Chuck Knox decided to let backup Garrett Gabriel throw all day; the result was a 49-45 victory for the Rams, a Wild Card berth for San Diego, and a division title for the Chiefs, themselves led by Matt Blundin, the biggest of boys. Damon only completed part of Mrs. Berhing's vision, leading to a concerted effort to sign Marcus Allen.

The 'Hawks' would clear the deck: after they matched the Jets' offer to Warren, they then plunked the young man on the transfer market. Flagler's injury in the Manchester exhibition against Oklahoma alarmed Langley. They offered Warren 3-years, $2.2 million. Once seen as a traitor to UVA football, Chris was now the savior for the Feds, leapfrogging Terrence and rookie Randy Cuthbert, Duke's all-time leading rusher. Seattle would land Allen and Miami Hurricanes head coach Dennis Erickson. The horizon stays, we keep balance, and Costas and McDonough continue to be intrigued. 

Other Notes

The assassination of Art Modell after the election would send ripples through the USFL. Let's revisit.

November 29, 1992 will forever remain with Clevelanders as a Day of Liberation, for the Old World ended. John Madden, who would receive the Fax of Responsibility, reported Art Modell's Lincoln "went up like a turducken when you, you know, drop it in a deep fryer," when Andy Gorka--his personal driver and political refugee from Hungary, cast out when The Magyar Dragon's insurrection was crushed--started the car. The game proceeded as scheduled, following a moment of silence--Cleveland cruised. 

The Ohio All Seeing Owls, a "constitutionally protected regulated militia" with ties to the new Neo-Yeoman Movement--the new far right ideological successor to Jeffersonian and Regannite Thought--took responsibility for the attack. The number on the fax sent to John Madden's armored bus was easily traced to North Olmsted resident Arman Tamzarian. The fax read:

"While I and my fellow Owls believe firmly in the right to contract and the autonomy of the Small Business Owner in regards to decisions he must determine on his own for his business, Mr. Modell violated the sacred pact of said Small Business Owner and the Customer, who dutifully adhered to the agreed upon contract since his assumption to this business in 1962. Modell's decision to not implement his own Capital Improvements, after extracting so much from his customers, who are also taxpayers, and his pondering of relocation to Las Vegas, Nevada. This violation could not stand. This violation was, in fact, an aggression and violation of NAP. So we, the Ohio All Seeing Owls, committed yeoman, acted upon our God Given Rights."

Pat Somerall read the statement via satellite from Candlestick, where they were preparing to call Falcons-Niners at 4:00 EST.

When asked for comment, a rep. from the emerging youth division of the John Birch Society disavowed the action. The rep., Tyler Lion-McGirk, went further, stating that the Ohio All-Seeing Owls were a "clear psychological operation as none of our fellow organizations would have such a gay name."

The demise of Modell sent unexpected ripples through the league, pointing to new, possible, worlds. The fanbase that formed around the Rams in the 80s after landing in Orange County--corporate raiders and their henchman, processing engineers, weapon designers, silent-era Hollywood memorabilia assessors, stuntmen actuaries, intellectual property lawyers, pornographic Japanimation distributors and their staff of voice talent and script translators, golf course designers--led to a successful revolt of Georgia Frontiere, grabbing control and establishing the Rams as a sort of feudal property, controlled by landed county residents and advised by a "Guild" of ex-players, coaches, and team executives, all viewing Head Coach Roman Gabriel as a sort of divine king after a surprising '92 campaign. Whatever it was, it did get renovations to Anaheim Stadium in the form of new luxury boxes and "swinging mezzanines" that could retract at will, allowing for open aired shots on CBS broadcasts. 

Indianapolis Colts’ owner Jim Irsay would become a man, sequestering his father in their Japanese designed, pie-shaped mansion in Carmel. It was a circular monstrosity with wedge rooms. Each interior--there were 12 designed after East Asian or South Pacific themes; Jim had the "Shogun Room," which included a tea ceremony cove and kabuki curtains around a plush futon on the floor; Bob's room was decked in a vague Ottoman Imperial theme, even though he greatly admired Ataturk and his reforms. 

Jim isolated Bob on the old fear of reprisals from determined, potentially still irked, Baltimorians. He received tacit approval from the team's board of directors. Armed with carte blanche, he took the first step of his imperial plans, buying the Cleveland Indians and relocating them to the Hoosier Dome. Embattled MLB owners approved the deal out of the need for a new capital injection, but stipulated Jimmy place day-to-day operations into "nonpartisan" hands, which led to a committee headed up by Frank Robinson, the various Bourbon descendants across West Germany who held club debt, and Super Joe Charboneau.

***

Birchers on Prodigy and Leninists on The Source both smelled conspiracy of Art's death, but both groups–for once–were unified: the The League Itself exited Modell to bury the humiliation of the merger of the New England Patriots with the St. Louis football Cardinals, the first since 1950 and the real first since WWII: the post-War mergers all clean-up of the successful defeat of the AAFC, with a few of those teams folding into the survivors. 

The State of Massachusetts had intervened in the football war and had tipped the scales to the Breakers; part of this justified: the Patriots had been dour much of their existence and nearly collapsed in '88 under the Sullivans after the son poured money into a Michael Jackson tour that never got off the ground. Victor Elam–best known as "the Remington guy"–took over in '89, but didn't fare much better. He at one point considered a move to Bridgeport, Connecticut, but sold to Anheuser-Busch exec James Orthwein, himself purged as part of a power struggle to control St. Louis after a successful buyout of Bill Bidwell in '86. The Dillboys–Boston's owners–had considerable political clout and connections in the region and Steve Grogan was still the only reliable QB on the Pats. Something had to give. 

But we all know that: high-rents and measley crowds–despite the Breakers own disappointing '92–led Orthwein to propose the insane idea of relocating to St. Louis, creating a second club in the city. Little interest from the USFL–Boston was a big enough market to survive the Red Sox–led a rudderless Taligabue to override the other owners and offer Orthwein a $10 million buyout to fold the Patriots into Big Red. St. Louis had finished 9-7 in '92; New England an embarrassing 2-14. The next worst team–Atlanta–got the top pick; there would be 27 teams for '93. The merger–along with the events of '92–may have finally greased the atrophied gears of the old institution: Paul announced plans to add 3 more clubs, the first in Charlotte in '94 with two more in '95. 

Big Red would scramble when they learned Orthwein had cut deals with springball clubs in late October, netting him $15 million ahead of the buyout. James sent a runner known only as "Norberg" with a list of available players and prices to USFL Commissioner Grover Debb's office, who then disseminated lists through the league. Dillboy Sr. lent a cabin in Kittery, Maine for player reps to meet and negotiate.

Veterans Johnny Rembert, Andre Tippett, John Stephens, and Brent Williams all accepted pre-emptive transfer-window deals to Washington, Boston, and Michigan respectively; Arizona signed '90 draft bust Nate Singleton, Jacksonville acquired oft-injured Rich Tardits, but he would be cut late in training camp. The Cards would only retain three players: Maurice Hurst, Vincent Brown, and Bruce Armstrong, forking over bonuses for all three. A March dispersal draft was held but took less than an hour as clubs passed on picks.

Rich Gannon–who struggled in two years with the Pats–was still expected to compete for the Big Red job with Mike Johnson and Timm Rosenbach, who went to Havana via cigarette boat of his own accord as part of a comeback bid. The Cardinals' Central Committee were eying Joe Montana in a bid to boost gate receipts and a Busch Stadium renovation grant from the International Friendship Development Fund. Gannon would float onto late January's market and find a home in Oakland, who gave up a 1st round pick in '94 to Baltimore. He'd enter a brief quarterback competition with McGwire and Pawlwaski before winning out. 

Pete Rozell–following all of this from a Malibu beach house–fumed. 

The '92 NFL season did prove exciting. Bert Jones came out of retirement again, this time signing with the Chargers. It didn't work out: the Bolts started 0-7 and would trade for Stan Humphries, who had pontificated for two years on Washington's bench. He'd lead the club on a 9 game winning streak and into the playoffs. They'd bounce out 8-8 Miami and Scott Mitchell and down Marty Schottenheimer and the Chiefs in quadruple overtime, Stan hitting ex-Gold Dana Brinson on a 33-yard warbler, 33-27 (it should be quickly noted that the Bolts are studded with ex-USFLers: J.J. Flanagan, Lee Williams, James Lockette, Gary Anderson, and Terrence Jones as Humphries' backup–ed.). Nick Lowery pointed to God before all three of his misses. We're on a different timeline buddy. They would beat Buddy Ryan's Oilers in the House of Pain a week later, 27-13, to make their first Super Bowl. They hadn't lost a game in three months.

Until they met fellow USFL alum Randall Cunningham and the Eagles, who tore through Dallas and San Fran, Jerome Brown be damned. The 34-7 snoozer capped an otherwise unforgettable playoffs. That didn't keep Philly from burning, resulting in the death of about three dozen Mummers, but who's counting? Tagliabue would survive a coup thanks to Steinbrenner, the Maras, and Jerry Jones. Mike Brown and Alex Spanos wanted Bill Cosby, who held a 1% stake in Cleveland. Jones pointed out that the nerd–with that slouch, those thick glasses, and slurred smile–was the perfect fall guy: a commissioner should be a vessel of grief, a channeler of fan angst. Tagliabue didn't notice.