'86 in Review: A Grand Summary
The 67th season of the National Football League would be punctuated by labor strife, a disintegration of the old order of social relations, and that vague mix of excitement and dread when it comes to chaos. It was also fun as hell.
The Cleveland Browns became the second team in three years to finish 15-1, joining the ‘84 Niners. Their perfection bid came close as they won their first 15 games before falling to San Diego in the season finale, 34-31. The Chargers clinched their first division title since 1981 by finishing 10-6, recovering from an 0-3 start. The defending Super Bowl champion Miami Dolphins, fueled by another historic season by Marino, would finish 12-4 (a one-win improvement) and claim their fourth straight AFC East title, and fifth overall in the ‘80s. The Jets would rebound from a disappointing ‘85 to finish 11-5 and return to the playoffs as a Wild Card, alongside the 10-6 Bengals.
In the NFC, the St. Louis Cardinals would surprise everyone again. After another 0-2 start, Big Red would go unbeaten in their next 12 (11-0-1) and eventually finish a conference best 12-3-1. The Bears (8-8) and The Rams (10-6) would clinch the Central and West on the final day of the season and in dramatic fashion; the 10-6 Giants would make it as a wild card for the third straight year while a rejuvenated Washington would see a 7-win improvement from ‘85 to finish 11-5.
The playoffs would see the Bengals and Giants cruise to the divisional round on easy wins--38-21 and 56-39 respectively; Washington and New York setting a new playoff record for total points. Both Super Bowl XX teams would suffer heartbreaking losses in the divisional round--the Chargers surviving a late Miami comeback 40-38; Dickerson and Everett hammering the Bears 35-17. Cleveland would win an ugly Battle of Ohio, 19-13, while Parcell's Giants would collapse for the second year in a row as Big Red pulled it out 24-21.
The Cleveland Browns would advance to their first Super Bowl, routing the Chargers 30-7; the Rams would hand St. Louis their second consecutive conference title loss, 42-26, while Eric Dickerson avenged 85's Fumble, making their first Super Bowl appearance in seven years.
The season would conclude with Super Bowl XXI in Pasadena. The Browns would capture their first NFL title since 1964, beating the Rams 35-27. The off-season would see a slew of trades and player transactions, as well as new owners and ownership structures. A general consensus would form the further we got away: 1986 was a watershed year for the league and is widely considered the dawn of a new era, for better or worse. It is consistently ranked as one of the greatest seasons in league history
’86 By the Numbers
The wild offenses that
have defined the decade would continue in ‘86. The Dolphins and Browns both
scored over 600 points during the season, 613 and 608 respectively.
The Chargers and Cardinals would score 500+. San Diego, who set the NFL record with 513 the year before, scored 547. St. Louis scored exactly 500.
The Cowboys had the worst offense in the NFL, managing “just” 287 points.
The Giants had the NFL's top defense, giving up "just" 320, followed by Chicago and Washington (both 341), the Rams (351), and the Jets (358).
The Colts' would set an NFL record for points allowed, giving up 620. Three other teams gave up 500 or more: the 8-8 Vikings (500), the 3-13 Cowboys (506), and the 2-14 Oilers (528).
Washington's Dexter Manley led the league in sacks with 30, three shy of the record, set by Cleveland's Eddie Johnson in 1985 (33). Bob Golic (CLE) led the AFC with 24.
Ronnie Lott (SF) and Hanford Dixon (CLE) tied for the lead in interceptions at 9.
There were two kickoff returns for touchdowns this season, both in Week 16, recorded by two NFC players: New Orleans' Mel Gray and Stump Mitchell of St. Louis.
Dan Marino would have a historic season, setting numerous NFL records to take league MVP. Marino would throw for 5,663 yards, 60 touchdowns, and 11 interceptions. He would throw for 500 yards three times. In Week 2, he would go for 573 against the Colts in a 56-28 win. He would break his own record two weeks later against San Francisco, passing for 595 in "The Epic in Miami Part 2," a 70-55 comeback win. Week 13 would see Dandy Dan hurl for 543 in a shootout win against the Falcons, 49-42.
A record six quarterbacks threw for at least 4,000 yards: joining Marino were Neil Lomax (StL, 4167), Dave Wilson (NO, 4130), Dan Fouts (SD, 4078), and Bernie Kosar (CLE, 4043). The Pat's Tony Eason finished just shy of the mark at 3,944.
Four, along with Marino, threw at least 40 touchdowns: Fouts (44), Kosar (42), and Eric Hipple (DET, 41).
San Fran's Joe Montana and Pittsburgh's Mark Malone were tied for the fewest thrown interceptions at 8 each. Warren Moon (HOU) led the league at 23. Five of Montana's picks came in one game: a 14-14 draw with St. Louis in week 10.
Mark Duper joined Mike Quick as the second 2,000-yard receiver in NFL history, finishing with 2,555 yards and 33 touchdown catches, setting new records. Duper would set a new single game record in week 2 against the Colts with 314, only to break it in that instant classic against the Niners two weeks later, going for 418 yards and 4 touchdowns.
Walter Payton was the league's leading rusher with 1,692 yards and 22 touchdowns. It was an incredible season given his age and the devastating knee injury in the ‘85 divisional playoff. Payton credited his remarkable recovery to the experimental Guevara Procedure originally developed in Cuba to treat shortstops—the technique made its way to the Mayo Clinic via Japan, where it was successful in treating Ozekis in Sumo. While Chicago Birchers and the Archbishop praised the return of Sweetness, they still echoed national right-wing concern over the normalization of procedures developed within socialized medical systems.
Cincinnati's James Brooks was the AFC's leading rusher, with 1,551 yards and 20 touchdowns, both franchise records. Curt Warner (SEA) was just behind him at 1,532 yards and 16 touchdowns, which was also third best in the NFL.
The single game rushing record would be broken for the third straight year as Gary Anderson ran for 334 yards in San Diego's 67-20 bludgeoning of the Oilers in Week 14.
Four teams broke 60 points this year in five games—the Chargers are notable for not just the above game against Houston, which marked their second straight season breaking 60 (they beat Philly 64-0 in Week 15 of ‘85), but also for giving up 63 against the Dolphins opening weekend (a 63-19 contest).
St. Louis' first win of the year was a 61-6 blowout of the Bills at Buffalo in week 3. The Bills struggled all day offensively; the Cardinals also recorded 3 safeties. It is the biggest win in team history and the worst in Bills' history.
In addition to the week 1 rout, 2-1 Miami would beat 3-0 San Francisco 70-55. It was their first meeting since Super Bowl XIX; San Fran had leads at the half (35-28) and the end of the third (48-42), before Miami rallied in the 4th. The Dolphins inexplicably recovered three onside kicks—keeping Montana, Rice, and Craig off the field much of the quarter—and overwhelmed the Niners' defense, outscoring them 28-7. Both teams combined for over 1200 yards of offense; most of Miami's was on Marino's arm, though Lorenzo Hampton did run in two in the red zone. Jerry Rice had 175 yards rushing and 4 touchdowns, all on 4 reverse plays; Shula later explained the aggressive special teams in the final frame was fueled by an inability to stop Rice or Craig, who ran for 132 and 2 touchdowns. The 125 points are an NFL record. Miami's 70 are the most since the merger and fourth most in NFL history, tied with the Rams, who achieved the feat against the Colts in 1950. San Francisco's 55 are the most by a losing team. Many in the press felt the Niners season turned after the loss; they went 5-7-1 the rest of the way to miss the playoffs for a second year in a row. It was also the first game in history to not feature a punt.
Chicago would wipe out Dallas 66-7 in week 16, clinching the division on points scored and differential. The 59-point margin of victory is second only to the infamous 1940 championship game in Bear's history and is the second largest rout post-merger, after the aforementioned Chargers from 1985.
That win at Dallas capped a three game winning streak for the Bears, which saw them go from fourth at 5-8 to 8-8 and NFC Central champs (discussed in greater detail below). The Bears outscored the Bucs, Lions, and Cowboys a combined 137-28.
The Eagles failed to score a point in their final two games, losing to Dallas 31-0 in week 15 and to Washington 27-0 in week 16. Both were the only shutouts in the NFL this season.
Playoff
Recap:
Wild Card
Cincinnati
38, New York Jets 21: Cincinnati dominated time of possession and
their balanced attack of Boomer Esiason and James Brooks won the day. Freeman
McNeil would run for 145 yards and 2 touchdowns for the Jets, who tried their
best to stick around; O’Brien would be sacked twice in the end zone at critical
junctures—early in the second down 10-7 and early in the fourth down 36-21. Two
missed field goals by Pat Leahy contributed to the woe. Ivana Trump was in
attendance and the performance reportedly turned her off to purchasing a stake
in the team. It was the Bengals first playoff win since the Freezer Bowl.
New York
Giants 56, Washington 39: LT had 3 blocked extra points, 2 field goals,
and recovered a fumble for a touchdown as the Giants rallied from a 20-7 first
quarter deficit to cruise to their third straight wild card win. Gary Reasons also
returned a fumble for a touchdown. Lee Rouson and Jack Morris had 2 rushing
touchdowns each; Sims threw for one. George Rodgers had 233 rushing yards and 5
tds in the loss. Gibbs insistence on trick plays and flea flickers—strategies
that work well in the regular season—were consider major factors in
Washington’s loss. The Redskins had a 26-21 lead early in the third, but the
reverse fake Z post, a complex variation of the flea flicker, that worked on
the very first play (a 61-yard touchdown pass to Gary Clark), was broken up
several times by the Giants—the two fumble recoveries for touchdowns were due
the play’s achingly slow, and obvious, unfolding (the Jets used a similar play
to ill-effect in their game as the Bengals recorded one of their two safeties
when breaking it up). Doug Williams would voice his frustration about the play
calling, and his lack of participation, in the locker room, pointing out how he
won all three of his starts on essentially two different pass plays, rarely
using trickeration.
Divisional
Playoffs
San Diego
40, Miami 38: It was too little too late for the defending Super Bowl
champions, as San Diego took the playoff rubber match, their first meeting
since 1982 (a 34-13 win by the eventual AFC Champion Dolphins). San Diego built
a 26-0 lead thanks to two Woody Bennett turnovers and an early sack of Marino
in the end zone (it looked like a baseball score at the end of the first, 5-0).
Bennett would redeem himself with a long run at the close of the first half,
which set up a seven yard pass by Marino to Mark Duper. San Diego made it 33-7
when Fouts connected with Pete Holohan on a long pass; from there, the Dolphins
started to rally, with Mark Duper returning a botched kickoff for a touchdown
to make it 33-14. John Offerdahl would recover a Tim Spencer fumble and the
Dolphins started moving again, with Faud Reviz hitting a 45 yarder to close the
third quarter down 33-17. Marino would put together his best drive of the game,
connecting with Lorenzo Hampton on four straight passes (he would finish
Miami’s leading receiver with 5 catches for 115 yards); Duper would get his
second touchdown of the game to make it 33-24. But Fouts was Fouts and he
quickly connected on a 47-yard touchdown pass to Tim Spencer, to give the
Chargers a 40-24 lead. Miami would cut it to 40-31 with a Marino to Hampton
27-yard touchdown pass. The Dolphins would recover an onside kick—their
signature move of the season—and Marino would throw a 40-yard bomb to Clayton
to make it 40-38, but lightning didn’t strike twice for Miami like it has all
season. San Diego recovered the final kick to guarantee their first AFC title
game appearance since 1981. And to think the Chargers nearly traded Fouts to
the Colts in ‘83 and even nearly drafted Marino at the end of that historic
round.
Chicago
17, Los Angeles 35: The Rams overcame the frustrations of 85 and
“The Fumble” to rout the Bears at home and head to their first NFC Championship
game since 1979. Fans hoping for a Payton vs. Dickerson rushing duel would be
disappointing. Both defenses clamped down on their opposing backs; Dickerson
took 13 carries for just 52 yards while Payton finished with the same number of
carries on 99 yards, a chunk of those coming in second quarter, going for 35 on
the Bears’ only touchdown. Jim Everett looked Marino-esque at times as he
carved up the Bears secondary for 335 yards and 4 touchdowns, two to Henry
Ellard, who finished with 4 catches for 135. Dickerson contributed more as a
receiver, as he caught 4 passes for 70 yards. He scored twice more on red zone
punch-ins. The Bears actually lead 10-7 early in the second and were down by
just 14-10 when McMahon put together a decent drive, but Kevin Butler missed a
field goal. Everett quickly responded to give the Rams a 21-10 lead at
halftime. They never looked back. Ditka’s decision to go with McMahon over
Flutie would haunt him all offseason. The one-time bad boy threw for just 101
yards and was intercepted twice, both in the second half. The Rams committed
three turnovers—Everett had two picks and Marcus Dupree fumbled in the red zone
in the 3rd—but the Bears just couldn’t find ways to exploit. Everett’s quick
release kept him standing all day until the very end when Richard Dent stripped
him and Dave Duerson returned the fumble for the second Bears touchdown in
garbage time. The priests started to wonder if the Bears were actually cursed.
Cincinnati
13, Cleveland 19: The Browns would win an ugly Battle of Ohio
to make their second straight AFC title game. Cleveland controlled time of
possession, but the Bengals linebacking core would shut down Mack, Fontenot,
and Byner in the red zone several times—Byner would fumble twice in the game,
both times out of bounds. The Browns lone touchdown would come early in the
second quarter when an exacerbated Kosar convinced Keinath to go for it on
4th and 4 at the Cleveland 48. From the shotgun, Kosar would chuck a long
arc down field; Reggie Langhorne, the only time he was open all day, would make
a Dallas Clark-like leaping catch in the end zone to make it 10-0 (Lewis
Billups was there but played it too deep, the Westside psychos would obsess
over this all offseason, even though he would intercept a Bernie pass in the
third). Matt Bahr was the hero for Cleveland, going 4-4 on FGs. Cleveland
defense did their part, harassing Esiason all day, sacking Boomer 7 times and
forcing two fumbles. It was still all too close for comfort for the Browns and
the dawg pound, however, as Bill Johnson, playing for the injured Brooks, would
make it a game with a 25-yard touchdown run with 2:47 left to get it to 19-13—Johnson
would finish with 111 yards. Wyche felt confident in his defense and called for
a deep kick that would pin the Browns at their own 7. Facing 3rd and 3 with
1:17 left, Kevin Mack would become a minor hero, scraping for 5 yards to get a
first down. Kosar would connect with Fontenot on a 28 yard pass to run the
clock out. He would finish with 275 yards, a touchdown and a pick.
New York
Football Giants 21, St. Louis Football Cardinals 24: For the
second year in a row, the Giants would crumble late in the Divisional Playoff.
In a back and forth game, the Giants held a 21-17 lead with 2 minutes left.
Neil Lomax would play the most perfect game of his career, throwing for 257
yards and 3 touchdowns. The final one would come with 1:31 left, when Lomax would
connect with J.T. Smith on a lob in double coverage to make it 24-21. The
Giants had a final chance; Jack Morris, who would finish with 136 yards and two
rushing touchdowns, would break off a 33-yard run to get the Giants to
mid-field. Despite having all three timeouts, Simms decided to go no huddle; he
would be overwhelmed by the Cards defensive line and chased back 13 yards. Not
wanting to be sacked to end the game, Simms squeezed out a squib that landed in
the hands of E.J. Junior to seal it. It was Phil’s second pick of the game. LT
and Reasons, the heroes against Washington, were mostly held in check by Big
Red’s o-line. Taylor would get one sack.
AFC Championship
San Diego
7, Cleveland 30: The Chargers failed to exploit four Browns
turnovers as Cleveland made their first Super Bowl and first NFL title game
since 1964. Like the previous week, the defense carried the game, sacking Fouts
eight times and shutting down Joiner and Chandler all day (Chandler would have
one catch for 15 yards). Fouts finished with 118 yards passing, 1 touchdown and
1 interception. A still banged up Kosar would throw for 298 yards 2 touchdowns
and 3 picks. The Chargers were effective at times in denying Kosar big
plays—while Reggie Langhorne finished with 131 yards on just 3 catches, all 3
picks were targets to him—they couldn’t stop Kevin Mack, who while finishing
with just 76 yards on 11 carries, still punched in two touchdowns and his short
catches helped keep every Cleveland scoring drives alive. We nearly got our
first fat guy touchdown in AFC Championship history when Carl Hairston
recovered a Bob Golic strip of Fouts at the end of the first half, but a
frustrated Kellen Winslow caught up and tackled Hairston at the 2. The Chargers
only got into Cleveland territory twice: once in the second quarter (the Browns
shut down three Fouts floaters from the 7) that resulted in a missed field goal
and once in the fourth quarter, when a combination of Gary Anderson runs and
Fouts mid-range passes finally resulted in a 42-yard touchdown pass to Tim
Spencer to avoid the shutout. It was Coryell, Fouts, Winslow, and Joiner’s
third AFC title game loss together.
Los
Angeles 42, St. Louis 26: In a rematch of The Fumble a year before (for
those who don’t remember: down 27-21 and pinned at their 11, Dickerson would break
off an 89-yard run to the StL 2, only to fumble on the next play; Freddie Joe
Nunn would recover, Cards hold on 27-23 to advance to play Chicago), Eric
Dickerson would have a historic game, rushing for 263 yards—the same yardage he
had in the divisional playoff a year ago—and 4 touchdowns while catching
another 5 passes for 48 yards, including a fifth touchdown. The Rams, under Jim
Everett, displayed a slightly more balanced attack, as they began the game with
a 22-yard td catch by Ray Ellerd; they also, unlike San Diego, exploited four
Cardinals turnovers for 28 points—Lomax would be intercepted three times, while
Roy Green would fumble an early catch, which set up Dickerson’s first rushing
touchdown. St. Louis would try to make a game of it late—down 35-12, Ron
Wolfley would return a kickoff 38 yards before fumbling and recovering again to
get it to the 10. He would then punch it in to make 35-19. St. Louis would
recover the onside kick and Lomax would finally connect with J.T. Smith on a 42
yarder to make it 35-26. Dickerson would run for 78 yards and his final
touchdown a play later, ending any minute comeback. It was the Rams first NFC
title since 1979. Bill Bidwell would try to use Big Red’s second consecutive
NFC championship meltdown as fodder for a new downtown Dome or as an excuse to
move the team out of town, but the municipal government and the Busch family
wouldn’t hear of it. For two weeks, the Rams’ novelty song and video—“Ram
It!”—would play hourly on MTV.
Super Bowl
XXI
Cleveland
35, Los Angeles 27: There was some speculation among the
media—mostly regionalized and East Coast—that the Rams playing in Pasadena
would give them a slight edge heading into the game. The LA media knew that
actually didn’t mean anything; the Rams were an Orange County phenomenon and
the team you’d go see because your team
was playing them (the crowd was hostile to the Browns, to be fair: but this was
due to the large swath of transplants who were Jets and Steelers fans).
Dickerson’s arrival in 83 did change that a little but goodwill had to be
rebuilt in ‘86 after The Fumble in 85. Expectations were not super high, just
at that weird level where everyone knew The Browns were really good—one of the
best ever—but that they weren’t LA there was a chance. Also the build-up wasn’t
as fun as Super Bowl XIV. The Steelers had a sullen, machismo glamor—a
Peckinpah vibe but they all don’t die in Mexico. The Browns were a bunch of
weirdos led by a qb with a weird throw and vague populous notions—John Garfield
vibe.
Right away the Rams gave it up. His bench banged up, Robinson had
tight end Mike Young returning kicks through the playoffs; it worked against
Chicago and St. Louis, and as long as Young gave them okay field position, ED
would get it or Everett would set up fast. Young would cough up the return to
Bob Golic at the 30 and the Browns would score two plays later on a Fontenot
run to make it 7-0. Then, on their opening drive, Everett would be sacked twice
pinning them back at their own five. The decision to run ED up the middle from
the shotgun wouldn’t be tried again until very late, because the usually lithe
Dickerson would be tackled in the end zone by Eddie Johnson (the game’s real
MVP), making it 9-0 Cleveland just two minutes in—the fastest 9 in Super Bowl
history. The Browns would make it 16-0 on a Kosar pass to Webster Slaughter
before everyone’s jitters were finally out. The rest of the quarter slunked
away, with abortive drives by both clubs.
The Rams would finally get going at the start of the second when
Everett strung together mid-range passes to Ellard and Duckworth to get to the
Cleveland 11. Marcus Dupree would catch a short toss out of the backfield and
take it in to make it 16-7. Kosar would put together a long, sloggy drive that
included a 4th and 2 conversion—it was becoming apparent that Mack
and Fontenot were hurting and the Rams weren’t going to allow either of them
any space. Kosar would move through the air, eventually connecting with Brian
Brennan on a 23-yard touchdown pass to make it 23-7.
The Rams would make it interesting at the very end of the half
when Eric Dickerson swept right and finally broke through the Browns secondary,
running 61 yards for a touchdown to make it 23-13 as the clock expired (Clay
Matthews would block the extra point)—it would be the easiest play of the game
for the running back and his only touchdown, as he finished with 99 yards.
The Browns would make it 26-13 on their first drive of the second
half but that would be the only points of the entire third quarter, as the
Browns defense contained Dickerson and harassed Everett and the Rams linebackers
and secondary broke up Kosar passes or plugged up Mack at the line of
scrimmage.
The Rams would make it 26-20 very early in the 4th as
Dupree ran it in from 15 yards out, ending a 58-yard drive. Kosar marched the
Browns down on another long drive; facing a pass rush at his 26 on 3rd
and 12, Bernie would throw probably the most memorable touchdown of the game to
Ernest Byner, who pushed off Carl Ecklen and made a leaping two handed grab to
make it 33-20. There was no grace in it, but one admired Byner’s violent
vertical and giant hands plucking the ball out of the air. The Browns were
winning ugly.
All seemed lost after another 3 and out, but Kosar would be picked
off by LeRoy Irvin. After 9 and 12 yard runs by Dickerson and Dupree, Everett
would find a wide open Bobby Duckworth for a 36-yard pass to make it 33-27. The
Browns would recover an onside kick but couldn’t do much with it, so the Rams
had one last shot with 1:04 left. Eddie Johnson would sack Everett twice,
pinning the Rams on their own 5—a book-end to the Ram’s opening drive. They
tried running Dickerson out of shotgun again and while he just got out of the
end zone, a flea flicker with 6 second left ended with Chip Banks tackling
Dupree in the end zone, securing a 35-27 victory for the Browns and gamblers
everywhere (the line got to -3 Browns moments before kick-off but an over/under
of 61).
It was the second highest scoring Super Bowl after XIII. Kosar was
MVP, finishing with 296 yards passing, 3 touchdowns and 1 interception. Eddie
Johnson set a Super Bowl record with 5 sacks, two of those coming in the final
drive. The Browns’ 2 safeties were also a record, and were the 3rd and 4th
recorded in title game’s history, the first since Super Bowl X. Ratings were
high through the entire game. There were parties all over Cleveland and Browns
diaspora in Ohio—burning couches strewn Brown Street, near the University of
Dayton. The lights were dark in Brentwood, but that was because most of the
people living there were Steelers fans. Bob Hope was in the luxury box with Art
Modell and wept. Sure he was a bigger Indians fan, but this would due too.
Other Observations of ‘86:
- Pittsburgh and Atlanta both finished 10-6 and missed the playoffs. The Steelers actually conceded more points than they scored (a combined 99 points in two games to the Browns alone), but, for the second year in a row, the Falcons lost out to the Giants on point differential—this time by only 2 points. The Falcons' second straight disappointing season would cost Dan Henning his job; Atlanta would Return to Tradition, bringing back Marion Campbell.
- There had been whispers since the strike of '82 to expand the playoffs to 12 from 10, but by the end of ‘86 it turned to anguish cries, as there were two 10 game winners (‘85 saw two 9-7 clubs, which didn't seem as strong of a case). "A question for Morenovists: Why not just expand playoffs to 28?" pondered Fran Tarkenton in his weekly commentary, part of a new-new series on the communist infiltration of the National Football League in the John Birch Society's weekly newsletter. "It's football, dang it. The most American thing there is. Stop WHINING and win some dang games!"
- Atlanta was the next-to-last unbeaten in the league with Cleveland, starting 6-0. David Archer couldn't keep up the pace, and the Falcons would lose their next 4; they went 4-6 in their last 10 games, which made this collapse more painful than 85. It all felt very weird; Riggs was pretty good all season but nowhere near his historic 2,325-yard season in ‘85 (who could actually follow that up, honestly?). A frustrated Henning looked to USFL vet Walter Lewis, the Hero of Beale Street just that spring, but a dramatic win over Detroit to get to 10 was not enough.
- A similar implosion occurred in Seattle—the reigning division champs. After a 5-0 start, nagging injuries to Curt Warner and Steve Largent began popping up. The Seahawks still seemed in it at 8-6, but a 41-34 loss to San Diego broke the other wing; the Chargers' early day 34-31 shocker over Cleveland--the Browns' only loss all season—made their late day finale against Denver an afterthought.
- Cleveland's defense earned a variety of nicknames in ‘86. Many accompanied the Dawg Pound moniker given by Dixon and Minnifield to the rowdy left end zone fans: Mad Dawgs, Dawg Patrol, The Four Dogmen of the Apocalypse (Golic along with linebackers Johnson, Banks, and Matthews), Bone Crew, etc, etc. Golic would lead the team with 23 sacks; Eddie Johnson and Chip Banks would tally 14, Carl Hairston racked up 10, Clay Matthews had 5 and even Hanford Dixon, along with his league tying 9 picks, sacked 5. After the Week 16 upset, San Diego media tried to refer to Leslie O'Neal and Gary Plummer as "The Euthanizers" but that only lasted until the AFC title game. Body Bag Browns stuck because that's the one Criqui said everyone was calling them in the Week 14 game against Cincinnati (no one actually called them that in Cleveland—maybe Dayton, ed.).
- But it was the offense that was historic; the rookie trio of Langhorne, Slaughter, and Fontenot, along with Mack (another 1,000 yard rushing season, including a 286-yard game against the Oilers in Week 2); Ozzie's reliability; Kosar's improved accuracy. The fewest points the Browns scored all season was 21 in Week 14 against Cincinnati (their only comeback win, down 20-0 halfway through the third). It was only solace during The Great Offshoring, but it was fine solace.
- To fans, the Bears 14-2 season in 1985 and run to Super Bowl XX seemed only like the beginning; closer observers, however, would understand how cursed it was. First was the embarrassing, in hindsight, "Super Bowl Shuffle" video and song dropped a day after a dramatic 19-17 win over Miami on Monday Night Football (the same team that would smoke them in the title game, 34-24). Hubris! The Catholic fans shouted in their weekly newsletter, Saint Corbinian's Pigskin Review. The video would be suppressed—only to appear in five to ten second clips during retrospectives of the whole era; thousands of singles tapes and records choked Odd Lots bins in Muncie and elsewhere. Then there was the war between offense and defense all ‘85, resulting in Buddy Ryan, defensive coordinator, jumping to the Eagles for ‘86.
- It was all bad, like all of modernity, wrote the diligent monks in Lake Forest. McMahon arrived to training camp 25 lbs. overweight, prompting a desperate trade to land Doug Flutie's rights (Mike Tomzack was no leader—at least the diminutive Dougie played at Boston College). Jim would break his wrist in preseason and Flutie would lead the Bears all year; Payton, nags in his feet here and there, carried the offense while the D kept them around. The Bears clawed back from 5-8 win to out and take the division, a miracle, before an embarrassing divisional loss to the Rams. Parishioners all over Chicagoland and East-Central Indiana would chatter about the season for months during post-mass coffee hour. This was a most elegant curse. We have angered God.
- After a 2-4 start, The Rams seemed to click when Robinson gave the team to Everett, who went 7-2 and finished the year with 1,716 yards, 13 tds, and 9 picks (to be fair, Bartowski stepped in twice on the back-end of the season to get two key wins over the Falcons and Dolphins). A more balanced attack emerged—Dickerson would fail to break 1,000 yards for the first time since his rookie season, but finished the year with 1,598 combined yards and 20 touchdowns (980 on the ground with 14, a career high 618 receiving and 6). Marcus Dupree became a dangerous option in play-action, and while at first there was an idea of a "Double D" backfield, fans started to wonder if he would be the star. The shift might have foreshadowed the off-season's blockbuster trade, but it did turn the Rams into an NFC Champion.
- It was a bittersweet year in Tampa. Steve Young showed signs of staying power in 86, throwing for 3,756 yards, 37 touchdowns, and 21 picks (second most behind Moon). Both Springs and Wilder had over 1,000 total yards, and Gerald Carter finished with 1,302 receiving yards and 12 td catches. They also scored a franchise record 444 points. But the Bucs also collapsed—after a 6-4 start, the Bucs would lose their final six, finishing 6-10 after looking like division champs. "Still, though" would be the rallying cry of creamsicile fans after the season. The team would get a new owner—local eccentric Laffy Bolivar—and a big personality as head coach in Chief Riel, a 6'11 Metis from Saskatchewan, who turned Lomax into an elite quarterback in St. Louis; ‘87 would at least be as fun as the first 10 games of ‘86.
- By week 10, the Vinny Testaverde sweepstakes seemed to come down to the 0-10 Packers and 1-9 Colts. Green Bay didn't seem as bad as their record—they had lost a string of close games. Two-time USFL Champ Chuck Fusina's debut in week 8 changed the mood of the season. They would play San Francisco, Pittsburgh, and Washington close but were 0-11 before winning 4 of their last 6, the most impressive being a 48-14 blowout of Minnesota in week 15. A comeback overtime win over Chicago in Week 12 earned Fusina a contract extension through 1989. In nine starts, Fusina threw for 2,606 yards, 22 touchdowns and 12 interceptions, with a 64% completion percentage. The most frustrating question became, what would the whole season have looked like?
- The Colts showed a little sign of life around week 8 when Rod Dowhower turned to Gary Hogeboom, but Jim Irsay, enfant terrible of the already repulsive Bob, got nervous after a string of close games; Irsay fired Dowhower after their first win in week 10, 24-21 over New England. Ron Meyer would run Hogeboom out for two more games before turning back to the steadily awful Trudeau, who managed to take the finale. The win, while exciting, put the top pick in jeopardy—Irsay would manage to rig the coin flip with a two-tail coin; any means, gentlemen. He had a plan, you see, a Grand Vision. Couldn't mess it up.
- Fans in the nation's capital were relieved to see their team quickly Restored to Glory: 1985 always felt like a farewell tour to Theisman, Riggins, and Butz (who would decide to stick around another year). There was a quaintness to St. Louis having a good season and the Giants stay punchy, but the order needed to be restored before too long. Order was getting there, hold on: the emergence of Ricky Sanders and George Rogers in 1986 modernized the offense as Dexter Manley began a reign of terror on defense; Washington finished 11-5, the second best record in the NFC. Normalcy, the natural order, was returning. But a modern fighting force is nothing without great leadership—any educated citizen of Empire knew this. There had to be a clear line of succession; it was the Final Conundrum.
- The question became who you got: company pretty boy Jay Schreoder or over-the-hill diversity hire Doug Williams? How a fan answered that question revealed everything—social status, aesthetics, and ideology (because what are deeply held "beliefs" but not shared approaches to societal constructions, conscious and unconscious?). Team Jay would point out stats (3,452 yards, 36 touchdowns, a 70.5% completion percentage). Team Doug would point out a 5-0 record (3-0 as a starter plus 2 more wins stepping in when Schroeder was knocked out with concussions), Jay's 10 picks (Dougies’ lone one a garbage time heave), and, later, eating shit against the Giants made strong counter arguments. But he is old and uncouth, Jay boys would say while shorting the waiter's tip. And on and on.
- The controversy would nearly become an international incident when new Soviet Premier Vasily Morenov weighed in on the side of Williams during his first official state visit. While in the booth with the Monday Night crew during halftime of Miami-Cleveland (to be explored later), the "Red Kennedy" (handsome and a reformer) briefly expressed his admiration of the veteran backup and the many "arrow wounds" inflicted upon him by cheapskates, grifters, and stooges over the years. Doug's trivials laid bare the Great Lie of meritocracy. "He seems like a Raider to me," Morenov concluded. The Birchers were irate; the FBI took notes and listened closely—was this confirmation of the link between black militancy and the Kremlin that haunted our Great Nation? Were they recruiting our athletes again after nearly two decades of hibernation? Also listening very closely and taking notes was Luther Bringhurst, Al Davis' shadow personnel analyst.
- Woody Paige, writing for The Denver Post, would call it "The Great Tuesday Terror." While hyperbolic to draw a parallel to the end of the end of ancien regime (which we heartily endorse—ed.), Paige was getting at something real: the first roster releases revealed names fans had identified with individual teams for years. Danny White by Dallas, Steve DeBerg by Tampa, Tommy Kramer by Minnesota, Herman Heard by Kansas City, Glenn Blackwood by Miami, Dave Butz by Washington, Buddy Curry by Atlanta (and Walter Lewis after just a year); that Jack Kemp's son was looking for work raised eyebrows. All, or most, reshuffled onto other teams. Butz and Blackwood would retire; Plunkett and Sipe would join them willfully. This happens all the time in America, land of precarity, but it still feels strange when you see it happen to so many names you hear in Sommerall's or Olsen's voice. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.










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